The Muslim soul seeks to draw from the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) during Ramadan, in order to receive a Quranic and Prophetic boost that helps in navigating life and overcoming its hardships and challenges.
To achieve this, every Muslim household needs a true glimpse into the Prophet’s home—to learn from the character of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his wives, the Mothers of the Believers (may Allah be pleased with them), and to grasp the keys to marital happiness that are rooted in Quranic teachings and the purified Sunnah.
When the Mother of the Believers, Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), was asked, “What the Prophet used to do in his house when he was with you?” She replied: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), when at his house, was the kindest and most generous of people. He was a man just like any of you, except that he was always smiling and cheerful. He was a human being; he used to engage in the mihna, i.e. the service, of his family,— patch his sandals, sew his garment, milk his sheep, and do his own chores, and conduct himself at home as anyone of you does in his house, and when the time for prayer came he went out to prayer. I have never seen him strike a woman or a servant with his hand.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari).
These lines offer ten tips for spouses to follow during Ramadan if they seek to hold onto the keys of happiness in both this life and the Hereafter.
- Dedicate Time for Joint Worship
Set aside time for shared acts of worship—praying two rak‘ahs in the depth of the night at least once a week, daily Quran recitation and reflection, and consistent remembrance of Allah and seeking forgiveness. Let your motto be “competing together in acts of worship” during this blessed month.
- Allocate Money for Charity and Zakah
Set aside a portion of your wealth for charity and zakah and encourage your spouse to contribute as well, even if with a small amount from her personal savings or allowance. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Sadaqa appeases the Lord’s anger and averts an evil death.” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)
- Plan for Umrah If Possible
If financially and physically able, plan to perform Umrah together, as this brings joy to your spouse’s heart. It is recorded in the two Sahih collections that during the Farewell Hajj, Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) for permission to perform a separate Umrah apart from the one she had combined with Hajj. He granted her permission, and she went to Tan‘im, where she entered into Ihram for Umrah.
- Encourage Your Wife to Make the Most of Ramadan
Encourage your wife not to waste Ramadan on excessive cooking and household chores. Support her in completing the recitation of the Quran, performing Taraweeh prayers, and engaging in night prayers and other acts of worship, so she does not end up among those who waste this precious month.
- Participate in Household Chores
Help with household tasks, even in a small way, to lighten your wife’s burden during fasting. Avoid complaining or reprimanding her if food is delayed; rather, support her, praise her cooking, and pray for her. Also, teach your children to assist their mother with household responsibilities.
- Host Her Parents and Siblings
Make an effort to invite her parents and siblings over, as this fosters love and strengthens family bonds. It also enhances ties of kinship, which are a source of blessings and Allah’s pleasure. Likewise, the wife should reciprocate by welcoming her husband’s family and showing kindness to them.
- Keep Romance and Affection Alive
Do not neglect affectionate gestures, loving words, and intimacy with your spouse during Ramadan, under the pretext of fasting and worship. Allah has permitted intimacy between spouses from Iftar (sunset) until Fajr (dawn).
- Avoid Conflicts and Arguments
Strive to avoid disagreements and arguments, remembering that Ramadan is an opportunity to draw closer to Allah. Let patience prevail, and when anger arises, remind yourself: “O Allah, I am fasting,” to suppress anger and control your temper.
4 Steps to Prevent Marital Conflicts from Escalating
- Buy Your Wife Eid Clothes as a Gift
Surprise your wife with new Eid clothes as a gift to express her value in your life. Women, like children, find joy in new clothes and gifts. Thoughtful gestures like these strengthen love and harmony between spouses.
- Make Du‘a (Supplication) Abundantly
Both of you should frequently turn to Allah in supplication—asking Him to bless your lives, grant you righteous offspring, and make your home one of faith, remembrance, Quran, righteousness, and true happiness, following the model of the Prophetic household.
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