Ramadan represents a valuable opportunity to restore the essence of marital happiness, rekindle an atmosphere of affection, understanding, and dialogue between spouses, and even resolve life’s daily conflicts and challenges.
This sacred month grants every individual—man or woman—a space for contemplation and reflection, striving for a fast that extends beyond abstaining from food, drink, and desires to include control over one’s tongue and limbs. Each of us refrains from harming the other, even with a word or a mere glance.
A Muslim household is in dire need of this month of mercy and solidarity, offering a pause from the hardships of life, the relentless pursuit of material gains, and the cycle of consumerism. Instead, it provides an opportunity to seek tranquility and reassurance, equipping oneself with piety to cleanse the soul from accumulated sins and transgressions.
Ramadan has the power to revive the joy and delight of the early months of marriage. It brings spouses together daily as they prepare decorations to welcome this month of mercy, share in cooking and preparing meals, and embrace the prophetic guidance: “When the day of the fast of any of you comes he must not use vile language or raise his voice, and if anyone reviles him or tries to fight with him he should tell him he is fasting.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
How beautiful it is for spouses to prepare for iftar and suhoor together! They maintain daily presence with each other throughout this blessed month, in contrast to the rest of the year, when the husband—due to work obligations, for instance—may frequently miss family meals or be preoccupied with other matters, causing gaps in their shared moments at the dining table.
Nurture Your Marriage This Ramadan
A Family Gathering
Ramadan offers a chance to come together in acts of worship—a family gathering to read the Quran, an inspiring spiritual reminder given by one of the spouses about the meanings of fasting, mutual encouragement to give charity and pay Zakat al-Fitr, reminders of supplication and seeking forgiveness, accompanying each other for Taraweeh prayers, and praying two rak‘ahs together at night to draw closer to Allah. The Prophet ﷺ said: “When a man wakens his wife* during the night and they pray (or he prays) two rak'as together, they are recorded among the men and women who make mention of God.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood) He also said: “May Allah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays, and awakens his wife; if she refuses, he should sprinkle water on her face. May Allah have mercy on a woman who gets up at night and prays, and awakens her husband; if he refuses, she would sprinkle water on his face.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood)
Ramadan can be an opportunity for both spouses to engage in self-reflection regarding their treatment of one another, paving the way for forgiveness, reconciliation, and the removal of misunderstandings. It becomes a fresh start, blending obedience to Allah with love, where they experience the joys of lawful intimacy, enjoying a state of psychological and spiritual clarity. With the devils chained and the home once filled with strife and sorrow now echoing with the remembrance of Allah and Quranic recitation, the atmosphere of tension and arguments is replaced with peace and harmony.
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Let every husband feel the daily struggles his wife endures in the kitchen, preparing delicious meals while fasting and exhausted. He should express gratitude for her efforts, supplicate for her reward and blessings, and even assist her in preparing meals, embodying the words of the Prophet ﷺ: “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.” (Narrated by At-Tirmidhi) When Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was asked: What would the Prophet (s.a.w) do when he entered his house? She replied: He would busy himself with serving his family, then when (the time for) Salat was due he would stand (to go) for it. (Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi)
Likewise, every wife should show gratitude to her husband, appreciating his efforts and the struggles he endures while fasting to earn a lawful livelihood and provide for his home and children. She should praise his dedication, supplicate for him, kiss his hands and forehead, and encourage their children to be obedient to their father. In doing so, his heart will be filled with joy, and he will find comfort and tranquility in her companionship.
Strengthening Family Ties
Ramadan is also a golden opportunity to strengthen family ties, mend relationships, and restore harmony between in-laws. Hosting collective iftar gatherings with extended family, inviting the husband’s parents or the wife’s parents, fosters warmth and reconciliation, softening hearts and removing tensions. The wife’s state of mind improves when her husband takes the initiative to invite her parents for iftar, just as a mother-in-law’s heart is comforted when her son’s wife warmly welcomes her and offers her generous hospitality.
Children also benefit from the mercy and kindness that Ramadan brings to the household. The daily habit of gathering twice a day for meals over thirty days strengthens their bond. They engage in Quran recitation together, perform Taraweeh prayers, and accompany their parents in feeding fasting individuals, giving zakat, and reviving the practice of i‘tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque). Through these actions, the family’s faith and piety grow, and divine blessings descend upon them all.
We have in the Messenger of Allah ﷺ the best role model. 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that when the last ten nights began Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) kept awake at night (for prayer and devotion), wakened his family, and prepared himself to observe prayer (with more vigour). (Agreed upon)
So, how will the Muslim family transform if they follow in the footsteps of their Prophet ﷺ? If both spouses revive Ramadan with remembrance, prayer, and acts of worship, their souls will ascend, their hearts will be purified, and their spirits will intertwine, emerging from this blessed month as a unified, joyful, and spiritually enriched household, victorious in Ramadan.
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