Educational Insights: Small Victories!

By Dr. Alaa Hosny March 31, 2024 1509

The demands of young children and how to deal with them:

A child asks something from their guardians, and they hesitate to fulfill it, or they divert the child's attention away from the request, or they ignore it, hoping the child will be distracted and forget about it. However, it doesn't take long for the child to explode in a fit of screaming, wailing, sobbing, and stomping their feet in anger, or hitting their caregivers with their hands and feet and anything their little soul can muster of anger and rage until their request is met out of mercy and pity from their parents, guardians, or caregivers, or as a plea for peace of mind and to avoid exhausting headaches. Then, the child settles down, their soul calms, and their anger dissipates as if it never existed.

His fierce rebellion quickly transforms into joyous childhood jubilation, expressed through his limbs and innocent facial features. You see him laughing with the victorious laughter of a conqueror, triumphant after a strenuous battle.

Educators or experts in child behavior may perceive the aforementioned behavior of the child, as well as the behavior of their parents towards them, in various ways. They may recommend responding to the child when he insists on fulfilling his desires and whims, with a degree of caution and wisdom. They may not approve of responding to these whims as necessary once the child crosses the threshold of his early childhood and begins to develop self-awareness, especially when his demands are accompanied by disruptive methods in their pursuit.

Educators may call on parents not to succumb to their parental emotions and rush to fulfill their child's wishes when he is overcome by a fit of crying and screaming, no matter how painful it may be for their parental emotions. By responding to the child, they may be disregarding the reasons for mercy or seeking tranquillity and peace of mind from the annoying cries and screams of the child, or sometimes out of embarrassment from the child's behavior in front of strangers, which may indicate poor upbringing.

By responding to the child at that time, they may harm him more than they benefit him; as they reinforce in him the dictatorial childish behavior when his need overcomes him. The child grows up unable to control himself and restrain his impulses when the desire dominates him. He seeks his legitimate or illegitimate need through actions similar to those childish behaviors to calm himself down, regain his balance, and stability. As he grows up, his feelings of selfishness and self-centeredness grow with him, and thinking that people are all at his service to fulfill his desires. All he has to do is create some commotion and annoying noise to demand his need, and he won't stop until he gets it.

What experts in education guide caregivers and parents to might be generally correct. However, the other side of the coin shows us that the matter is not without detail. The child's need may indeed be something he cannot afford to lose, and it is incumbent upon his caregivers to provide it. Perhaps his outburst was a way to draw attention and seek care from those who were preoccupied with life's affairs and its never-ending demands. Yet the truth remains that the behavior of adults, often or altogether, is one of the effects of that initial wrong upbringing, from which no one - I claim - is exempt, although I do not deny the impact of subsequent upbringing in one way or another.

But... what about the small demands of adults?

Many of us are sometimes provoked by small demands, and we spend whatever effort is necessary to achieve our goals. It is astonishing to see the actions of some who, blessed with wealth by God, spend it to satisfy their petty desires! Some spend millions to spend time with an actress or a fashion model! Another spends a huge fortune to celebrate the birthday of his dog, goat, or camel, dressing them in ornaments and jewels that evoke ridicule and pity at the same time! A third buys an expensive piece of artwork just to show off, even if he is not knowledgeable about that field! And a fourth, fifth, sixth, and so on, and all of these are news that news agencies have spread, turning into facts upon publication.

These are the small souls, with their petty and lowly ambitions, that seem to enslave someone, possessing them rather than being possessed by them, and directing their actions rather than being directed by them. Woe to a nation whose children are abundant with small-mindedness and trivial demands!

It's astonishing to see what these small-minded individuals resort to when they argue with those they believe have what they need. Often, they exaggerate and escalate the dispute until they achieve their goals, forcing the other party to submit to their desires. When one of them achieves their desired outcome, they are overwhelmed by that childish joy. You see them celebrating these insignificant victories in those imaginary battles that divert attention from what truly matters.

The Great Fall with the Addiction to Small Victories

Nevertheless, it's okay for a person to rejoice in some small victories that I see as a necessity for one's sense of self-satisfaction, enjoyment of mental health, and ability to continue in life. This may extend to their earliest childhood with tendrils that cannot be escaped. However, for life to remain confined and plundered by those small battles alone, and for childhood victories to consume the precious years of one's life, is a clear mistake and blatant misguidance.

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Last modified on Sunday, 31 March 2024 10:25