The great Prophet Muhammad ﷺ serves as the ultimate example of emotional intelligence, a quality that was an integral part of his character, chosen by Allah to raise Islam for both humans and jinn. Through his exemplary traits, such as mercy and kindness, gifted by Allah, people entered Islam in droves. Allah describes this in His Book: "So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you." (Aal-E-Imran: 159)
Emotional Intelligence in the Personality of the Prophet ﷺ
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand oneself, manage emotions, deeply comprehend others' feelings, and build balanced and successful relationships. It is a core skill for adapting to circumstances, learning from experiences, and effectively solving problems.
These abilities were evident in every aspect of the Prophet ﷺ's life. He displayed compassion and kindness in his interactions with both followers and opponents, understanding their emotions and needs. He balanced decisiveness in critical moments with gentleness in daily dealings. His actions exemplified this, whether through his tender care for the weak, his wisdom with Quraysh, or his consultative and respectful approach with his companions. This unique emotional management made him a remarkable leader and teacher.
According to Dr. Ayoob Al-Ayoob, emotional intelligence encompasses adaptability to the surrounding environment and utilizing life experiences to address problems effectively. The Prophet ﷺ embodied this clearly, as he read people’s emotions accurately, understood their needs, and guided them wisely toward goodness. This made him an unparalleled role model in managing human relations. Allah affirms this: "There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often." (Al-Ahzab: 21)
Mercy and Kindness as Foundations of Success
One of the most striking examples of the Prophet ﷺ's emotional intelligence is his approach to dealing with enemies. He was never harsh or cruel, even with those who harmed him. When he entered Makkah as a conqueror, despite the injustices inflicted upon him by its people, he said to them with unmatched graciousness: "Go, for you are free." This demonstrates how to control emotions and transform hostility into mercy.
In his relationships with his companions, the Prophet ﷺ set the highest standards, always mindful of their feelings, listening to them patiently, and addressing their emotional needs. He comforted them in their hardships, earning their trust and endearment. He said: "Make things easy and do not make them difficult; make people calm and do not scare them" (Bukhari and Muslim), guiding his companions toward gentleness in interactions.
The Prophet’s emotional intelligence was not merely a personal trait but a part of his Islamic message aimed at building individuals and society. This is reflected in his words: "Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it" (Muslim). This Hadith highlights how the Prophet ﷺ combined spiritual, self, and social intelligence, understanding his emotions and channeling them toward goodness while treating people with exemplary character and inspiring optimism and patience.
Lessons from the Life of the Prophet ﷺ
The Prophet's interactions offer a practical methodology for applying emotional intelligence in daily life, making him a role model for handling situations with wisdom and compassion to build successful and balanced relationships.
- With Children: The Messenger of Allah may Allah bless him and grant him peace, kissed Hasan ibn 'Ali while al-Aqra' ibn Habis at-Tamimi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' observed, 'I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.' The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, looked at him and said, 'Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.' (Bukhari), reflecting the importance of expressing emotions and kindness in dealing with children, fostering their self-confidence and strengthening family bonds.
Another example is narrated by Sahl ibn Sa’d (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: "A drink (milk mixed with water) was brought to the Prophet (ﷺ) who drank some of it while a boy was sitting on his right and old men on his left. The Prophet (ﷺ) said to the boy, "If you permit me, I'll give (the rest of the drink to) these old men first." The boy said, "I will not give preference to any one over me as regards my share from you, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)!" The Prophet (ﷺ) then put that container in the boy's hand" (Bukhari), which shows the Prophet's respect for feelings and rights, regardless of age or status.
- With the Bedouin: When a Bedouin urinated in the mosque, the Prophet ﷺ could have responded harshly, as some companions suggested, but he intervened calmly, ordering the area to be cleaned and gently explaining to the man the sanctity of the mosque. This incident demonstrates the Prophet’s wisdom in addressing mistakes constructively without embarrassing or alienating others.
The Prophet ﷺ remains the greatest example of emotional intelligence. With his compassionate heart and wise mind, he united hearts and spread the message of Islam across the world. Following his example in this aspect is not just a choice but a necessity for building a better individual and societal life.
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Sources:
- “Emotional Intelligence in the Prophetic Conduct”, Islamic Articles, alukah.net
- “Islam Was the First to Advocate for Positive Thinking and Emotional Intelligence”, Mohammed Al-Hammadi, published on ALETIHAD NEWS CENTER
