A person may engage in behavior that negatively affects their personality, depriving them of the blessing of self-confidence and possibly leading them to introversion and isolation, making them weak in character and ostracized. Scientific studies and psychologists have identified 6 matters or mistakes that can destroy self-confidence:
1- Constantly feeling guilty, self-flagellation, blaming oneself, taking responsibility for everything, and seeking approval from everyone. However, satisfying everyone's expectations may not be achievable, especially with conflicting interests and desires of people.
The Prophet Peace Be Upon Him said: "The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer. In every situation, seek what benefits you, rely on Allah, and do not feel helpless. If something afflicts you, do not say, 'If only I had done such and such, it would have been like this or that,' but say, 'Allah has decreed, and what He wills, He does.' Indeed, opening the door to the work of Satan."
Muslim (2664).
2- Comparing oneself to others and closely following their every small and large achievement, particularly in the era of social media where the impact of others' lives can make one feel inadequate, as if their life is not ideal and lacking in the possessions others showcase.
Allah said: “And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah), the splendour of the life of this world that We may test them thereby. But the provision (good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more lasting.”
Surah Ṭā-Hā Verse 131
3- Associating with negative individuals, clinging to toxic relationships, and seeking only criticism and faults. This fosters frustration, spreads depression, and paints life as a dark page, weakening one's self-confidence and trust in others.
Allah said: “And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.”
Verse 28 from Surah Al-Kahf
4- Dwelling on the past, constantly thinking about mistakes or failed experiences, remaining in a state of victimhood, reliving sad memories, self-pitying, withdrawing, and isolating oneself—all destructive behaviors that erode self-confidence.
5- Fear of failure, always expecting failure and avoiding new experiences or adventures and for instance, avoiding buying a house due to fear of bad neighbors, refusing to drive for fear of accidents, or avoiding travel due to fatigue. This constant fear and anxiety can lead to a complete loss of self-confidence.
The Prophet Peace Be Upon Him said: "The pens have dried, having written down all that will be. If all of creation were to come together to benefit you with something, they would not be able to do so unless Allah has decreed it for you. And if they were to gather to harm you with something, they would not be able to do so unless Allah has decreed it against you. Know that what has befallen you was not meant to miss you, and what has missed you was not meant to befall you. Understand that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship."
Al-Tirmidhi (2516)
6- Neglecting personal appearance and hygiene, letting the body deteriorate, giving a sense of being unkempt and unattractive. Wearing mismatched clothes may leave a negative impression on oneself and others, impacting self-confidence and leading to criticism.
The Prophet Peace Be Upon Him said: "Shall I guide you to that by which Allah erases sins and raises one's ranks?" They said, "Certainly, O Messenger of Allah!" He said, "Performing ablution thoroughly in times of difficulty, walking frequently to the mosque, and waiting for the next prayer after performing one—this is true devotion."
Muslim (251)
