The Muslim woman today faces a significant dilemma between her essential, multifaceted duties and responsibilities. There are those who want her to abandon these responsibilities, which are crucial for the revival of the Ummah, preserving it, and restoring its leadership by raising and preparing men to fulfill their roles.
At a time when the world is reordering its priorities and correcting its paths according to the innate human disposition that Allah has placed in the souls of His creation, regardless of their beliefs, we hear voices that started faintly and grew louder, including former U.S. President George Bush, who considered separating boys from girls in mixed schools. Similarly, other voices, many of them women who once demanded equal work rights with men, now call for a return to the home, dedicating time to the husband and raising children as a form of justice for women.
On the other hand, in our Muslim lands, we find that some continue to oppose this natural order and divine laws, going against human nature under the pretext of women's rights, pulling women out of their rightful place, causing homes to collapse, and bringing down the Ummah behind them.
Unfortunately, we see some committed women falling into this corrupt trap, getting busy with matters far less significant than the duties Allah created them for, resulting in neglect of their rights towards their husbands and children. This brief message is for them, urging them to learn from and emulate Umm al-Mu’minin, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her), to understand how a believing woman should be the wife of a da'ee.
A Blessed Woman and the Best of the World's Women
The woman of all women of her time, Umm al-Qasim, daughter of Khuwaylid ibn Asad ibn Abd al-Uzza ibn Qusayy ibn Kilab, from the Quraysh tribe, was the mother of the children of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ . She was the first to believe in him and support him before anyone else, calming his fears and taking him to her cousin, Waraqah (1).
Her virtues are many, and she is among the women who reached perfection. She was wise, noble, religious, pure, and generous, one of the people of Paradise. The Prophet ﷺ used to praise her, favoring her over all his other wives and showing immense reverence for her. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) once said: "Never did I feel jealous of any woman as I was jealous of Khadija, for the Prophet ﷺ praised her very often." It is also narrated that the Prophet never married another woman while she was alive, nor did he take any concubines. When she passed away, he was deeply affected by her loss, for she had been his ideal companion, supporting him financially, and he used to trade for her.
Allah commanded the Prophet ﷺ to give her the glad tidings of a house in Paradise made of pearls, where there would be neither noise nor toil.
Al-Waqidi narrated that Ibn Abi Habibah heard from Dawood bin al-Husayn, from Ikrimah, from Ibn Abbas, and Ibn Abi al-Zinad narrated from Hisham, and Jubayr bin Mut’im narrated that Khadijah’s uncle, Amr bin Asad, married her to the Prophet ﷺ, and her father had passed away before the battle of al-Fijar (2). Al-Zubayr bin Bakkar said that Khadijah was known as "the pure one" in the pre-Islamic period. Her mother was Fatimah bint Za’idah al-‘Amiriyyah.
Abdullah al-Bahi reported that Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: "Whenever the Messenger of Allah ﷺ mentioned Khadijah, he would praise her and seek forgiveness for her without tiring. One day, he mentioned her, and I felt jealous, so I said, 'Allah has replaced that old woman for you.' He became angry, and I said to myself, 'O Allah, if you remove the anger of Your Messenger from me, I will never mention her with anything but good again.' When the Prophet saw what I had done, he said, 'How could you say that? By Allah, she believed in me when people disbelieved in me, she supported me when people abandoned me, and she bore my male children when none of you did.'" She added, "He continued mentioning her frequently for a month."
Abu Musa reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "Many men have been perfect, but among women only Mary the daughter of `Imran and Asiya the wife of Pharaoh were perfect; and `A'isha's superiority over women is like the superiority of tharid over other kinds of food" (Reported by Bukhari and Muslim) (3).
The Wise Wife
She (may Allah be pleased with her) did not need men, wealth, prestige, lineage, or protection, for she had the highest of these. However, with her pure nature, she understood that a woman’s life is incomplete without a just man to oversee her. A man who embodies the highest virtues, morals, and manhood, even if he is 15 years younger than her.
From the moment she met Muhammad ﷺ, she realized that he was no ordinary man, that he had a different destiny. She didn't know what it was, but she sensed that his qualities were extraordinary, and she knew she had a duty toward him—to support, love, and protect him and spare him the trivial matters of life.
She took on this role, especially during the period when he would seclude himself in the cave of Hira each year to worship his Lord. When the revelation came to him, he did not turn to his uncle who raised him or to his friend Abu Bakr, but rather to his wife, who provided him with love, wisdom, warmth, and security. This is how a noble wife should be—the wife of a man with great responsibility, a da'ee, or a mujahid. She must support him, believe in him, encourage him, embrace him, and shield him from worldly concerns.
When the Prophet returned saying, “Cover me, cover me,” she calmed his fears and reassured him: “By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You uphold the ties of kinship, speak the truth, help the poor, are hospitable to guests, and assist those afflicted by calamities.”
He said to her, "O Khadijah, I fear for myself." She responded with words that shine through history as a beacon: the words of a confident, loving wife. Then she took him to her cousin Waraqah bin Nawfal, who was a man of the scriptures, to give him the glad tidings of prophethood, and Khadijah became the first to believe.
The Loving Wife with a Mission
After prophethood, the Prophet's life changed drastically. He became preoccupied with the message and worship, leaving little time for anything else. Their home became a refuge for the weak and oppressed new believers, and a sanctuary for those seeking safety with the Prophet and his noble wife, who took on a huge responsibility. Many with great duties in life are weighed down by the responsibility of their home and family, but Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) was not married to an ordinary man. She bore the responsibility placed upon her.
Their home was full of children, including Zayd ibn Harithah, whom the Prophet ﷺ had adopted as his son until adoption was abolished. There was also Maysarah and Ali ibn Abi Talib. Despite the busy and crowded household, she was the loving wife who embraced her husband and created a peaceful environment for him to fulfill his great mission.
She supported him with her wealth, love, and unwavering belief, providing him with tranquility. As a reward, she was honored with the greeting of peace from her Lord, conveyed by the Angel Jibreel. Abu Huraira narrated that Jibreel came to the Prophet and said: “O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! This is Khadija coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or some food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (i.e. Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a Qasab palace in Paradise wherein there will be neither any noise nor any fatigue (trouble)."
She left behind her home, comfort, and wealth to live with the Prophet in the valley of Abu Talib, a place of hardship, while being the daughter of the most noble. The Prophet ﷺ openly declared his love for her, saying: "I was blessed with her love."
May Allah have mercy on our mother Khadijah, the one who sacrificed all she had for her beloved Prophet and stood by him in every situation. She obeyed him and never disobeyed, shared his da’wah efforts, and relieved him of his responsibilities at home.
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(1) Siyar A'lam al-Nubala, Shams al-Din Muhammad ibn Ahmad ibn Uthman al-Dhahabi, vol. 2, p. 110.
(2) Ibid., p. 111.
(3) Al-Kashf wal-Bayan ‘an Tafsir al-Qur'an by al-Sha'bi (27/71).
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