Sometimes, a child feels lazy, lethargic, and loses interest and passion. At times, you may find them indifferent to their school assignments or monthly tests, and at other times, they may hesitate to start a task, not knowing how to begin at all.
Don't be too worried and handle the situation with flexibility and wisdom. A child's mood can be influenced by simple or trivial reasons that seem complicated and difficult from their perspective. For example, a negative comment from peers about their personality, an inappropriate word from a relative, being ignored by a teacher, or unintentional attention from parents to their second or third sibling—all these life matters can cause the child to feel discouraged and bored.
Dr. Ellen Braaten, author of “Bright Kids Who Couldn't Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child's Motivation,” states that parents should identify the main obstacle hindering the child from progressing or depriving them of passion and activity. Once the nature of the obstacle is understood and identified, parents can help their children overcome it. For instance, the child may suffer from fatigue and lack of sleep, face problems with classmates at school, fear failure in a test, or feel discouraged by the negative news they hear in their community.
The following lines summarize several ways to recharge your child's energy and enthusiasm. One or two or more of these methods may succeed in achieving the desired outcome.
First: Turn to Allah. The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to supplicate, saying: “O Allah! I seek refuge with You from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by (other) men.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim) It is also narrated from Ibn 'Aabis Al-Juhani that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said to him: “O Ibn 'Aabis, shall I not tell you of the best thing with which those who seek refuge with Allah may do so?” He said: “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said: “Say: I seek refuge with (Allah) the Lord of the daybreak,” “Say: I seek refuge with (Allah) the Lord of mankind.” - these two Surahs.” (Narrated by al-Nasa’i and Ahmad)
Second: Embrace your child and make them feel loved and cared for. Praise them, their abilities, and skills. Strengthen family relationships and enhance the atmosphere of understanding and dialogue among family members, as this will positively affect the child and give them a sense of security. Avoid showing excessive fear and control over them to prevent resistance to tasks, leading to laziness and lethargy as a counter-reaction.
Third: Explore the reasons for their lethargy. Check with their mother and friends about their health and psychological state, or speak to them directly to find out where the problem lies. Do they have everything they need? What do they want? How do they plan to overcome it? This will reduce the pressure they feel and may help them organize their daily and academic schedule.
Fourth: Stimulate their enthusiasm and passion through educational games, family competitions, or new ways of competing with a prize for the winner. This will bring them out of their lethargy into a fun atmosphere, reactivating their energy. This goal can be achieved through outings, sports activities, traveling to the countryside, enjoying nature, and reflecting on Allah’s signs and blessings.
Fifth: Encourage your child to rely on themselves. Offer several suggestions to overcome boredom and give them the chance to regain their passion by preparing a meal on their own, drawing a school project, or going on a shopping trip. These activities develop various skills and make them feel self-reliant and capable of making decisions.
Sixth: Teach your child to face frustration and understand that everyone goes through similar situations. The role of parents is crucial in supporting and guiding their child to handle these emotions positively, to be resilient in facing challenges, and to overcome lethargy and laziness because the consequences of inaction lead to further deterioration.
Seventh: Help your child join an activity—whether sports, scientific, or volunteer work—even if they don’t like it initially. They will benefit and learn several skills from it, and they might excel in it later. This is part of the learning process, complementing school education, and is equally important.
Eighth: Enhance your child’s perseverance by helping them break tasks into small, manageable steps to ease accomplishment. Guide them to understand that time is part of the learning and maturation process, and that patience leads to relief and success. You might draw some examples from your surroundings such as relatives and friends. Remind them of the history and the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) saying: “And know that in patience with what you dislike, there is abundant good. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and hardship with ease.” (Narrated by Ahmad)
Ninth: Encourage your child to start a small project, like selling gifts, birds, or painting natural landscapes. According to Forbes magazine, a child needs passion through instilling a love of work in a hobby or favorite activity. Discuss with them what they love to do and how to turn it into a goal and project, according to entrepreneur and writer Nellie Akalp.
Tenth: Try to discover your child's traits, abilities, and talents. Identify their personality type—introverted, shy, or sociable. Every child has something beautiful that can grow and develop, with a talent that can ignite their passion and shake off lethargy. It’s important to note that neglecting school assignments doesn’t mean they are a failure or lazy. Perhaps they lack motivation or dislike a particular teacher or subject. Therefore, educators recommend that parents closely follow up and maintain good communication with their child's teachers and school administration.
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