Dangers of Verbal Abuse on Children’s Mental Health

The Impact of Harshness on Children

I once encountered a mentally disturbed young man who used to come to the mosque and the Society branch. Everyone treated him kindly and gently, offering him fruit, chocolate, juice, or anything else. He would rejoice and accept them with immense happiness. Curious, I asked the neighborhood about him. They told me: He was once a normal child, playing with his peers and going to school, but his family treated him with extreme cruelty, along with humiliation, beating, and oppression. Over time, this negative treatment deeply affected him until he became like this.

Parenting: Between Experimentation and Ignorance

Many parents lack proper parenting awareness, especially new parents. They often deal with their children through a trial-and-error system, leaving the eldest child as the primary victim of these experiments and the most exposed to psychological harm. This is why we notice differences in children’s personalities, depending on the parenting styles each received, child after child.

A father may stubbornly persist in repeating the same mistakes due to personal convictions, weak parenting skills, or emotional breakdown, subjecting his children again and again to negative psychological pressure.

Often, the harsh circumstances parents face in their own lives, like poverty, threats, weakness, mockery from others, mistreatment by a spouse, daily humiliation, abuse, financial losses, combined with weak faith, arrogance, and surrender to desires or satanic whispers, lead to harsher reactions toward their children.

Verbal Abuse and Its Hidden Effects

Despite the repeated warnings of educational and social experts for many years against the use of violence with children, or negative verbal abuse from parents, relatives, teachers, or elders, many people still practice this non-educational behavior out of ignorance.

At times, verbal abuse can be even harsher than physical violence. As the saying goes: The wound of a sword may heal, but the wound of the tongue never does.

Some may argue: We all went through this, and nothing happened to us.

To that I say: Alhamdulillah that you were not affected, but know with certainty that every individual is at risk of sudden psychological breakdown at any moment.

Many people have indeed developed mental health issues due to such violent behavior, including excessive shyness, phobias, depression, obsessive thoughts, anxiety, aggression, bullying, mood swings, and more. Often, neither they nor those around them realize it. They may live among us in peace and harmony, smiling and laughing, but in reality, they are carrying a hidden psychological struggle at different levels.

Psychiatrist Dr. Abdullah Al-Aziri states that 25% of people suffer from mental illness. We may not notice it, but it exists and can be treated like any other illness—with medication, exercise, or other means. These illnesses may stem from genetics, external influences, and, at the very least, psychological stress.

A Call for Gentleness and Compassion

The human body is like a chemistry lab, it contains many minerals and substances. The way these elements are mixed by nature and heredity shapes an individual’s moral and psychological character. With the addition of external influences, starting from the months of pregnancy until adulthood, the personality continues to develop.

This change never stops, as long as one consumes different chemicals through food, medicines, and drinks, and continues to be exposed to external influences.

Therefore, we raise this call: Pay attention to how you treat children in particular, and people in general. Gentleness and compassion must be the foundation, for harshness and violence are never effective.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The one who will have the worst position in Allah’s estimation on the Day of Resurrection will be the one whom people left alone for fear of his ribaldry.” Here, ribaldry means verbal abuse.

Let us protect our psychological well-being by staying away from oppression and verbal abuse, especially toward children.

For Further Reading:

• 6 Practical Tips to Raise a Stubborn Child
• Raising a Generation in the Footsteps of the Companions
• 6 Keys to Balanced Parenting in the Modern Era

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Read the Article in Arabic