“How to Make Your Child Happy?” is the title of the book before us, where we browse through its pages to present families, particularly mothers, with a number of tips and guidelines on raising and caring for their child based on sound and correct principles.
The book's author, journalist Wafaa Saadawi, emphasizes that childhood is a crucial stage in a person's life, during which their personality, psyche, and intellect are formed. She warns against the misconception that Islamic upbringing is limited to teaching a child beliefs, acts of worship, and morals only.
In her book, published in 2003, the author asserts that society needs an aware mother who is well-versed in Islamic culture and the principles of upbringing, an enlightened mind that instills in her child the understanding that we need a generation capable of leading the Ummah toward victory—a generation strong in its faith, morals, knowledge, and all aspects of life.
The author elaborates on the concept of upbringing and its components, including preserving and nurturing the child's innate nature (Fitrah), developing their talents, guiding these talents towards righteousness, and regulating their behavior according to the principles of Islam in a way that fulfills true servitude to Allah.
Under the title “Islam’s Care for Childhood” the author stresses that a child's care in Islam begins with a legitimate marriage based on firm principles that influence upbringing and the preparation of future generations. These principles include proper selection of a spouse, mutual kindness and good companionship, sharing responsibilities between husband and wife, fulfilling parenting duties to the fullest, ensuring the child’s rights, and shielding them from Shaitan’s influence, as this child will become tomorrow's man or the future mother.
The author reminds parents that their child's future is in their hands, pointing out that early childhood has not received the adequate care it deserves in our societies—whether at home or in school. Many mothers focus solely on fulfilling material needs for their children while neglecting their psychological and spiritual well-being.
Saadawi highlights that many mothers overlook the importance of a child’s early years, assuming that their needs are limited to clothing, food, drinks, and toys. They believe that education, knowledge, and culture are responsibilities left to kindergartens and schools. Some mothers even burden their children beyond their capacity, unintentionally making them dislike anything related to religion, by constantly enforcing memorization, rote learning, and punishment.
The author asserts that love grants the child self-confidence, motivating them toward success and hard work. The more loved a child feels within their family, the stronger they become, driving them to achieve the best results in all areas of life. However, she warns against repetitive commands and excessive punishment, as these may lead to a resentful child who harbors negativity towards everything.
She adds that appreciation and respect shape the child into a balanced and mature personality without resorting to criticism, humiliation, insults, or constant comparison with others. Praising the child without exaggeration helps them develop their personality, independence, and self-confidence. Parents should also point out their child’s mistakes and give them the opportunity to correct them, guiding them toward the right path for self-improvement.
The book discusses various challenges mothers face in raising their children, including temper tantrums and aggressive behavior. The author explains that a child may develop a short temper due to imitating parents, being overindulged, or experiencing strict discipline. The solution lies in providing a good role model first, identifying the root cause of the child’s anger, evaluating the situation carefully while avoiding criticism in front of others, offering reassurance and security, teaching the child to dislike anger and reminding them of the Prophet’s ﷺ guidance on controlling anger.
Saadawi also highlights the importance of playing in developing a child’s intellectual and practical skills. She warns against the mistaken belief that a well-behaved child is one who sits quietly at home, while an active child—who explores, plays, and leads his friends—is considered mischievous or troublesome. She stresses that play is crucial for personality building. It strengthens the body, stimulates the mind, and contributes to various cognitive and practical skills.
The author warns every parent against instilling fear in the child, through scary stories or intimidation. Instead, courage should be instilled in their heart, their confidence should be strengthened, their opinion should be considered, their viewpoint should be respected, and their ideas should not be suppressed or excessively controlled. She points out that accustoming the child to accept advice, consider different opinions, take responsibility, consult on certain matters, and even be given the opportunity to manage part of the household budget—among other things—develops their sense of confidence and shapes them into a balanced and responsible individual.
Under the “Your Child’s Questions” section, the author states that a child’s curiosity is endless, spanning religious, sexual, and other topics. She warns against ignoring their questions, as this could lead them to seek answers from unreliable sources. Instead, parents should provide clear and simple answers suited to the child's age and understanding, without lying to them.
She encourages parents to guide their children toward knowledge, using prophetic stories, beneficial educational TV programs, reading materials, and consulting specialists when necessary.
The book concludes with an urgent warning to parents not to leave children unsupervised with phones, the internet, television, electronic games, and cartoons—which have become a modern affliction. Instead, parents should engage their children in beneficial activities, carefully select programs suitable for them, develop their skills and talents, and provide meaningful alternatives that strengthen their Islamic and Arab identity, while enriching them intellectually, culturally, and religiously.
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