Marriage in Islam As a Sacred Covenant
Marriage in Islam… A Sacred Bond
Marital life in Islam is not an interest
deal, nor a battlefield between two conflicting parties. Rather, it is a sacred
covenant, which Allah described in the Quran as a “solemn covenant.” Allah says,
“And of His signs is that He created for you from
yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between
you affection and mercy.” (Ar-Rum 30:21)
In my life, I have met men who
think marriage means ownership, that their qawamah (leadership) means absolute
control, and that spousal obedience means blind submission. Yet this
leadership, which Allah granted to men, is conditioned upon responsibility and
care, not coercion or arrogance.
The wife is a life partner, not a
household servant. She is a supporter and companion, not a neglected follower.
What is strange is that some husbands, when reminded of their wives’ rights or
their role in family decision-making, react as if authority is being stolen
from them! This is a flaw in understanding and a distortion in practice.
Why Mercy and Kindness Are the Foundation of Marriage
A marriage without mercy
suffocates quickly. When each partner hangs a noose of criticism around the
other’s neck, when life becomes a cycle of “I said” and “you said” without
understanding or generosity, happiness flees from the home just as light
escapes a locked room.
I am amazed at those who think
good treatment of one’s wife is an optional virtue, when our role model, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), said: “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I
am the best among you to my family.”
The Prophet (peace be upon him)
would show affection to his wives, help in household work, and listen to them
with an open heart.
Small Acts of Love Are Acts of Worship
What is the problem if you
apologize to your wife when you are wrong? Or if you listen to her when she
feels distressed? Or if you laugh and joke with her? What is shameful about
saying to her: “I love you for the sake of Allah”?
These are not compromises, they
are acts of worship and Sunnah. Sometimes, with a single kind word, a reward
may be written for you greater than that of standing in prayer all night!
How astonishing that some deny
these values, then complain of coldness in marriage and the fading of love. How
can love grow in barren soil? How can it remain between two hearts that show no
mercy to one another?
Marriage is tranquility, peace
of mind. When a home loses this tranquility, it turns into a silent hell.
There may be no shouting inside, but
there is no life either.
Therefore, I call upon every
husband and wife to renew their intentions in marriage, not as a mere civil
contract, but as a path to Paradise.
To see in their household an act
of worship, in their patience a form of jihad, in their forgiveness a mark of
generosity, and in their sacrifice a form of charity.
We must shift from the language
of “my rights and your duties” to the language of virtue and shared goodness.
From “what is mine and what is
yours” to “what is ours.”
This is what marriage in Islam
truly is: a partnership and responsibility, not a contest or rivalry.
You May Also Read:
- Why Is Marriage Becoming More Difficult?
- How to Resolve Conflict between Spouses in Islam?
- Allah Hears Your Complaint
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Taken from the book:
Women's Issues Between the Stagnant and Incoming Traditions, Dar Al-Shorouk,
1990 edition.
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