Can a Marriage Survive When Couples Cannot Afford Divorce?

Can a marriage survive simply because a couple cannot afford to separate?

For some couples, the rising cost of living makes postponing divorce a financial necessity rather than a sign of renewed love or resolved conflict. Setting up two separate households instead of one can be an expense they simply cannot afford.

In England and Wales, figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) show that the median duration of marriages ending in divorce reached 13 years in 2025, the longest since records began in 1963. In 1985, the figure stood at 8.9 years.

These figures do not establish that financial pressures directly caused couples to delay divorce. However, family lawyers interviewed by The Guardian in September 2026 pointed to rising housing and childcare costs, alongside the difficulty of maintaining two separate households, as factors that may lead some couples to put off separation.

Postponing Divorce Due to Financial Pressure

In some circumstances, choosing to stay together may seem understandable. A couple with children, financial commitments and joint loans may find that separating immediately would place an even greater strain on their finances. They may decide to remain under the same roof temporarily or delay legal proceedings until they have a clearer idea of how they could afford two separate lives.

In such cases, postponing divorce because of financial pressure can provide time to organize financial obligations, arrange housing and plan for future expenses rather than risk falling into a more serious financial crisis.

The problem begins when a temporary arrangement becomes permanent and fear of poverty or losing a home becomes the only reason to remain together. A couple may continue sharing a house while growing increasingly distant emotionally. Silence and resentment may replace meaningful conversation, leaving their children in an environment dominated by tension.

This does not mean that every marriage experiencing emotional distance is beyond repair, or that every disagreement should lead to divorce. A relationship may recover when both partners are genuinely willing to communicate, acknowledge their mistakes, change harmful behavior and seek help from a trusted mediator or a qualified relationship counsellor.

But money, however important, cannot restore affection on its own or repair the damage caused by a lack of respect and trust.

A Marriage Without Affection: What Does Islam Teach?

Islam does not treat marriage merely as an economic arrangement designed to provide housing, financial support and a division of responsibilities. Rather, the Quran describes the marital relationship as a source of tranquility, affection and mercy: {And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy.} [Ar-Rum 30:21]

A marital home is meant to offer more than a shared roof. It should be a place of emotional security, companionship and mercy. Simply sharing expenses is not enough when respect has disappeared, communication has broken down and life together has become a persistent source of distress.

Postponing divorce because of financial pressure does not, by itself, restore the tranquility and affection that marriage is meant to provide. Without meaningful change, remaining together may deepen the loneliness and fear within the relationship.

At the same time, a decline in affection does not necessarily mean that a marriage has lost its chance of survival. Relationships go through difficult periods, and affection can grow again when both partners make a sincere effort to repair the relationship and approach each other’s struggles with honesty and responsibility.

Therefore, the Quran encourages couples to address serious marital conflict before it escalates: {If you anticipate a split between them, appoint a mediator from his family and another from hers.} [An-Nisa’ 4:35]

Wise mediation can open the door to reconciliation, provided its purpose is to address the causes of conflict, remedy injustice and help both partners understand one another. It should not become a means of pressuring either spouse to remain in a harmful relationship regardless of the circumstances.

When Does Money Become a Tool for Control?

There is an important difference between a couple who mutually agree to delay separation while organizing their finances and a relationship in which one partner uses money to control the other or prevent them from leaving.

Controlling bank accounts, preventing a partner from working or denying them access to money and essential needs can all be forms of economic abuse. The UK government defines economic abuse as behavior that negatively affects a person’s ability to acquire, use or maintain money, or access goods and services.

According to the Office for National Statistics, 2.7% of people aged 16 and over in England and Wales experienced economic abuse in the year ending March 2025.

In such situations, money is no longer simply an obstacle to separation. It can become a means of keeping someone trapped in a relationship they cannot safely leave. It is therefore important not to confuse patience in dealing with marital difficulties with accepting abuse, or commitment to preserving a family with surrendering one’s rights out of fear of financial hardship.

Reconciliation or Separation: Which Best Protects the Family?

Islam encourages reconciliation between spouses, but it does not make preserving a marriage an objective that justifies every possible means. Allah says, {The husband must retain ˹his wife˺ with honour or separate ˹from her˺ with grace.} [Al-Baqarah 2:229]

It also warns against keeping a wife in a marriage with the intention of harming her: {But do not retain them ˹only˺ to harm them ˹or˺ to take advantage ˹of them˺.} [Al-Baqarah 2:231]

When there is a genuine possibility of reconciliation, it is wise for both spouses to make a sincere effort to save their relationship, seeking help where necessary to overcome their differences. But when it is no longer possible to continue the marriage honorably, an amicable separation that protects both parties’ rights and minimizes harm may be more compassionate than prolonging a relationship that is draining them both.

If financial pressure is the main obstacle to separation, seeking legal advice early, exploring mediation, preparing a realistic budget and understanding one’s financial rights and housing options can help couples make more informed decisions. A life-changing decision should not be driven by fear alone. Equally, couples should not rush into separation without understanding its implications, particularly when children or shared financial commitments are involved.

Postponing divorce because of money may give a couple time to organize their affairs or offer them one final opportunity to repair their relationship. But it does not guarantee that affection will return. The question is not simply whether a couple can afford to separate, but whether they can distinguish between a marriage that can still be repaired and one whose continuation has become a source of harm.

Ultimately, the strength of a marriage cannot be measured solely by how many years it lasts, but by whether it offers tranquility, dignity and kindness. Money may help a family weather difficult times, but it cannot, on its own, create a healthy marriage.