The book Friendship and Youth offers a comprehensive overview of the value of friendship as a language that nurtures human relationships, enhances the tendency toward giving, and solidifies principles of loyalty, honesty, and integrity within society. This is especially crucial in light of economic transformations that have brought about profound and violent social changes, weakening the authentic values that long defined society.
The late Egyptian academic Dr. Ahmed Al-Magdoub, an expert at the National Center for Criminal and Social Research, warns against the materialistic changes that have overtaken society, which prioritize personal interest over collective welfare. This has led to deteriorated relationships and weakened social bonds.
The first chapter of the book, published in 2001 by the Egyptian Lebanese Publishing House, sheds light on the definition of friendship and distinguishes it from other forms of human relationships, such as collegiality, neighborliness, kinship, and other prevalent forms of interaction in human societies.
From a linguistic perspective, friendship (ṣadāqah) refers to companionship and derives from truthfulness and sincerity. According to Abu Hayyan Al-Tawhidi, the term "friend" (ṣadīq) stems from the word "truth" (ṣidq), and a true friend must embody honesty. In essence, friendship is a necessary social relationship founded on truth in every aspect.
The book, spanning 115 pages, delves into distinctions between various types of relationships: a friend versus a companion, an acquaintance versus a confidant, and friendship versus other associations like collegiality.
The second chapter explores the relationship between friendship, love, and passion, focusing on friendships between boys and girls. It critiques the progressive and enlightenment advocates who promote such relationships as essential for women's rights and gender equality. Dr. Al-Magdoub highlights the catastrophic consequences of these ideas, including the spread of fornication, immorality, and sexual violence in societies that blur the boundaries between genders and neglect ethical principles governing their interactions.
He poses the question: What do illegitimate pregnancies, abortions, and illegitimate children result from if not these friendships? He further questions why women often fail to be true friends to their husbands, suggesting that if they could succeed in this, divorce rates would decline significantly, and families would live in greater peace and happiness.
The third chapter examines the characteristics of friendship, such as mutual reliance and spontaneous reciprocity. Friendship allows individuals to share almost all aspects of their lives transparently and sincerely, engage in joint activities, and arouse strong emotions in each other. It fosters support, the exchange of ideas and perspectives, and mutual benefits, especially in long-standing friendships.
Dr. Al-Magdoub identifies the prerequisites for genuine friendship: shared environment, common goals, mutual interests, geographical proximity, and awareness.
In the fourth chapter, titled "How to Choose a Friend," the book discusses the opinions of both supporters and critics of friendship, the qualities to seek in potential friends, and the colloquial labels young people use for others, such as "boring" or "awkward." He underscores the importance of experience in choosing friends, the family’s role in nurturing children toward friendship, and how to select good friends while understanding their rights and duties.
The book outlines the social benefits of friendship, such as acquiring new skills, improving interpersonal relations, receiving both material and emotional support, and strengthening communal bonds. Psychologically, friendship helps reduce stress, combat isolation, alleviate frustration and depression, and encourage self-expression and positive emotions like joy and relaxation.
The fifth chapter focuses on the qualities one should seek in a friend, referencing classifications by notable scholars. Al-Tawhidi distinguished between virtuous and harmful friendships, while Ibn Miskawayh divided friendships into those of pleasure, utility, and virtue. Imam Al-Ghazali outlined five traits of a good friend: intelligence, good character, righteousness, generosity, and truthfulness. Similarly, Abu Najib Al-Suhrawardi stressed agreement in faith and ethics.
In conclusion, Dr. Al-Magdoub warns against bad friends, including those with weak character, those who mimic women, or those who imitate Western values, emphasizing that such friendships can lead to harm rather than benefit and virtue.
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