A friend is that person who is connected to you by a bond of affection or social ties, which may over time develop into a special relationship built on trust, mutual understanding, and respect. It is someone with whom you share an emotional connection and empathy, who stands by you in hardships and shares moments of joy and sorrow. A true friend is one to whom you confide your secrets and whose company you enjoy. Hence, the Prophetic advice emphasizes the importance of choosing righteous companionship. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Associate only with a believer, and let only a God-fearing man eat your meals.” He also said: “A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one should consider whom he makes his friend.”
O parents, children naturally tend to build social relationships and form small groups that reflect their personalities and desires—such as a love for dominance, competition, or helping others. Hence, it is our responsibility as parents to teach our children how to choose righteous companions who contribute to building their character and future. A person is influenced by those they befriend, just as an environment is affected by its cleanliness or pollution. Whoever grows in a healthy environment thrives, while those exposed to corruption acquire diseases and plagues that threaten their lives. Therefore, we must help our sons and daughters choose righteous companionship so they may attain the following benefits:
1. Assistance in Obedience
A righteous friend helps you in obedience and constantly reminds you of good deeds, strengthening your resolve to remain on the path of righteousness. Good companionship reflects your virtues and flaws, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The believer is the believer's mirror, and the believer is the believer's brother who guards him against loss and protects him when he is absent.”
2. Receiving the Blessings of the Righteous
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of musk and of the one blowing the bellows. The owner of musk would either offer you some free of charge, or you would buy it from him, or you smell its pleasant fragrance; and as for the one who blows the bellows (i.e., the blacksmith), he either burns your clothes or you smell a repugnant smell”. Thus, one must choose companions carefully to attain their blessings.
3. Refinement of Character
With righteous companionship, competing in good deeds becomes natural, free from envy and malice, as everyone strives to guide and support one another. A righteous friend helps refine behavior and teaches good manners and noble traits. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one should consider whom he makes his friend.”.
4. Steadfastness in Faith
Sitting with the righteous is not only a means of improving character but also a way to remain steadfast in faith and resist temptations. The best companionship is with those who uphold good morals, honor their parents, enjoin good and forbid evil, fear Allah, treat people kindly, purify their hearts, and control their anger.
5. Attaining the Love of Allah
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said in a Hadith Qudsi: “Allah the Almighty said: ‘My love is guaranteed for those who love one another for My sake, who sit together for My sake, and who visit one another for My sake.’” Righteous companionship opens doors to closeness to Allah and is a great aid in performing acts of worship.
I ask Allah the Almighty to rectify our children, nurture them in the best manner, protect their hearts from desires and doubts, and return them to us as righteous and reformative individuals.
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Resources:
- Encyclopedia of Mahasin Al-Islam
- IslamWay.net