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A person should prioritize the religion and character of the suitor, as this is where the blessings lie. Just as one looks at the suitor’s religion and character, one should also consider the woman’s religion, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him): "Women are married for four reasons: for their wealth, lineage, beauty, and religion, so choose the one with religion."
High Dowries and Their Implications
The fact that people now only marry with exceedingly high dowries poses a danger to the community from several angles:
Removal of Blessing
It removes the blessing from marriage, for "The most blessed marriage is the one with the least expenses."
Preference for Foreign Marriages
People are turning away from marrying local women and are looking to marry women from outside the country, as is the current trend. This is because outside the country, marriages are cheaper for various reasons that aren’t intended to be discussed here. It is known that marrying someone from outside the country—meaning outside one's own country, not just one's specific region—leads to numerous problems due to the various legal implications associated with marriage, such as lineage, inheritance, and familial ties. This creates future problems, which is why many people regret marrying from abroad, but when do they regret it? After it’s too late, after they have had children and descendants.
Local Women and Potential Sin
If marriage diminishes from local daughters, then women—like men—need marriage, and this could lead to sin and immorality, seek refuge with Allah.
Cultural and Religious Differences
The woman brought from abroad might have customs, morals, and religious beliefs that corrupt the husband and their children, although there are certainly those among them who are good and righteous. Therefore, we advise against exaggerating dowries and say: "The most blessed marriage is the one with the least expenses."
The Role of Guardians
If a guardian of a woman rejects a suitor who is suitable for her in character and religion without a more deserving suitor presenting themselves, then he is betraying her and being untrustworthy; for the guardian, which is the role of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as the one with general authority over his community, commands: "Marry off [your daughters] ..." This goes against that command. And if he chooses for his ward a person who does not pray, then this is, seek refuge with Allah, a grave mistake; because one who does not pray should not be married off, no matter their character, wealth, or beauty. It is absolutely not permissible to marry them off; rather, if they have a spouse, that marriage should be annulled if they abandon prayer, for abandoning prayer renders one a disbeliever, apostate from the religion of Allah. Allah Almighty said: (So do not return them to the disbelievers; neither are they permissible for them, nor are they permissible for them) (Al-Mumtahana: 10). Similarly, if a person chooses for his ward a corrupt and ill-mannered individual, then he is deceiving her.
Conclusion
And how many women complain about this issue, marrying those who are not deserving, leading to harm, trouble, and grief? We ask Allah to guide everyone.
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