The Role of Mothers in Islam

It is part of Allah’s way in His creation that marriage should be a means of cultivating the earth, and that reproduction should extend life and fulfill humanity’s role as Allah’s stewards on earth: {And Allah has made for you spouses of your own kind, and given you through your spouses children and grandchildren.} [An-Nahl 16:72]

Allah did not make parenthood merely a relationship of lineage and childbirth. Rather, He entrusted parents with the responsibility of raising, caring for, and guiding their children so that they may become a source of goodness for themselves and a beneficial building block in society, all within the framework of their responsibility before Allah: {O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.} [At-Tahrim 66:6]

The righteousness of children and the soundness of their behavior are the fruits of conscious care and the cultivation of values and faith from the earliest years of life.

Islam has made this task a shared responsibility between the father and mother. However, the mother’s share in this mission is greater: she is closer to her children, interacts with them more frequently, and spends more time in their company. This makes her influence on their development deeper and more lasting. Thus, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “And the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husbands house and his offspring.” ⁽¹⁾

From here, the mother’s role does not stop at meeting ordinary daily needs. Rather, her higher mission is to be the educator who instills virtues, builds character, and raises a generation that carries values, possesses knowledge, and embodies good character, so that it may become a righteous building block in the development of its society and Muslim community.

Motherhood in Islam: Between Instinct and Responsibility

Motherhood is not merely a biological event through which a woman fulfills the function of reproduction. Rather, it is an educational, human, and civilizational mission that goes beyond instinct to shaping human beings and building generations.

There is a significant difference between a mother who is content with fulfilling the natural function of giving birth and a mother who understands that her true mission begins after childbirth. She turns her home into a school of upbringing, her embrace into a source of values, and her own behavior into an example through which she raises men and women who carry a message, embody good character, and understand their responsibilities.

A mother who has a mission cares for her child’s soul just as she cares for the child’s body. She nourishes the child’s mind just as she nourishes the body, plants faith in the heart, instills values in the soul, and cultivates discipline in behavior.

Therefore, not every woman who gives birth has necessarily become an educator. Childbirth is a natural practice shared by women, whereas conscious parenting is a choice and a responsibility. It requires knowledge, patience, insight, and sincerity. It is this conscious parenting that produces role models, prepares leaders, and builds righteous people who reform themselves and contribute to the reform of others.

Such a person becomes a strong building block in society. When these building blocks multiply, a cohesive society emerges, and a Muslim community capable of creating renewal and building civilization can arise.

The Mother’s Primary Responsibility in Raising Children

One of the most important matters that must be emphasized is that the mother has the primary role in raising her children. She should not relinquish this responsibility or place it upon someone else, regardless of her responsibilities or circumstances.

A mother may need a break from some tasks, but she cannot take a leave of absence from her educational mission. Parenting is a responsibility that extends through every moment of a child’s life. It is an example that is seen, a word that is spoken, a look that carries meaning, an attitude that establishes a value, and a way of life through which a child’s awareness and personality are shaped.

Children acquire many values more from what they experience than from what they hear. They learn from their mother’s behavior before her instructions and from her actions before her words.

One common mistake is for some mothers to believe that they have fulfilled their responsibility simply by sending their child to school. The reality is that school is not a substitute for the home; rather, it supports what has already been instilled there.

Therefore, the mother remains responsible for following up with her children before they go to school, throughout their educational journey, and after they return home. She observes what they are learning, corrects any flaws that may emerge in their ideas or behavior, and remains the first line of defense against negative influences that may reach her children from their surrounding environment.

Another form of neglecting this responsibility is for some mothers to delegate the task of raising their children to a domestic worker, a relative, or another person simply because that person is close to the children or spends a great deal of time with them.

There is no doubt that seeking help from others with certain aspects of childcare may be necessary. But raising children is something else. It cannot simply be assigned or delegated, because it is a process of building identity, instilling values, and shaping character. This is a responsibility that, in its fullest form, can only be carried out by the parents, foremost among them the mother, because of the emotional closeness and natural influence Allah has given her over her children.

The deeper and closer her educational presence is, the more firmly established her children’s psychological and moral development will be, and the more capable they will be of facing life’s challenges and intellectual and behavioral deviations.

If a mother falls short, the responsibility lies fully with both mother and father, and the danger is serious: “Whoever neglects teaching his child what benefits him and leaves him without guidance has treated him with the utmost harm. Most children become corrupt because of their parents, their neglect of them, and their failure to teach them the obligations and practices of the religion. They neglected them when they were young, so they did not benefit themselves and did not benefit their parents when they grew up.” ⁽²⁾

Motherhood in the Digital Age: Raising Children Amid New Challenges

If raising children is a tremendous responsibility in every age, then in our time it has become more complex and challenging.

The digital revolution has opened the doors to a world without boundaries. From their earliest years, children are now exposed to an enormous volume of intellectual, cultural, and behavioral influences, to the point that screens have become constant companions for many children and young people.

Amid this unprecedented openness, the family is no longer the only influence shaping a child’s personality. The mother is therefore required to be more aware, closer to her children, and more attentive to what they are exposed to. She must guide them wisely so that they can distinguish between what is beneficial and harmful, and between what is consistent with their identity and what threatens it.

This is at the heart of parental responsibility. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “There is no gift that a father gives his son more virtuous than good manners.” ⁽³⁾

Despite the magnitude of these challenges, the mother’s status and the importance of her role become even greater. She remains the first school and the strongest influence on her children’s emotional and inner lives when she fulfills her mission well.

Children are shaped deep within by what they experience inside their homes and by the love, guidance, dialogue, and example they find there. But if a mother abandons her educational mission, becomes too occupied to follow up with her children, or leaves the void to be filled by the digital world with everything it contains, that void will not remain empty.

Other influences will fill it, and they may shape children’s minds and values far from the principles the family hopes to instill in them.

Through a mother’s dedication and good parenting, how many children—and even orphans—have become leaders! And through the neglect of a mother, how many children have become more lost than an orphan!

Thus, the poet Ahmed Shawqi aptly captured both situations: the mother who is a school and the mother who is lost and causes others to be lost:

An orphan is not one whose parents
Have been taken by the burdens of life, leaving him weak and helpless.

The true orphan is the one who finds
A mother who has abandoned him, or a father too occupied to care. ⁽⁴⁾