Gentleness over Harshness: The Prophetic Approach to Da'wah

Societies constantly navigate between deviation and rectification; deviation arises from whims, desires, and ignorance—factors of corruption that gnaw at society, necessitating reform and rectification.

What applies to societies also applies to individuals. The self often drives a person to commit wrongdoings, and if internal or external rectification is absent, the self becomes corrupt and destroys its owner.

External rectification occurs through education and preaching. This preaching has its conditions and etiquette, as Allah says: "Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided." (An-Nahl: 125). This verse restricts da'wah (invitation/preaching) to these two categories because if the invitation is based on definitive proofs, it is wisdom, and if it relies on probabilistic proofs, it is good instruction.

As for argumentation, it is not part of da'wah; rather, its purpose is different from da'wah, which is to compel and silence. For this reason, it does not say: "Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom, good instruction, and the best argumentation." Instead, it separates argumentation from da'wah, indicating that it does not achieve da'wah, but serves another purpose (1).

Among the meanings of wisdom is "placing things in their proper place" (2). Thus, it is wise to be gentle with the one being invited and avoid harshness, as harshness alienates hearts, causing people to disperse and shun the rude and harsh. Therefore, Allah blessed His Prophet by softening his heart towards his nation, granting him gentleness with them and fear for them. This combined perfect da'wah with perfect apprehension. Disobedience and ingratitude did not cause him to be hard on people; rather, the more they distanced themselves from him, the more he feared for their fate if they did not follow him. Allah says: "So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you." (Al Imran: 159).

Harshness is fundamentally not a method of da'wah or enjoining good. The word "harshness" (الغلظة) is only mentioned in the Quran in relation to striving against disbelievers and hypocrites who disobey Allah's commands, as it appears in Surah At-Tawbah and At-Tahrim with the same wording: "O Prophet, strive against the disbelievers and the hypocrites and be harsh upon them." (At-Tawbah: 73 / At-Tahrim: 9) (3).

Enjoining good and forbidding evil is conditional on knowing both the good and the evil, because an ignorant person might invite to falsehood, enjoin evil, and forbid good. They might know the ruling in their own school of thought but be ignorant of it in another, thus forbidding something that is not truly evil. They might also be harsh where gentleness is needed, or gentle where harshness is required, or denounce someone whose denunciation only makes them more defiant (4).

Sometimes, the one enjoining good and forbidding evil feels superior to others, falling into the trap of arrogance. Such a person is in great danger unless they re-evaluate themselves.

Authority can tempt its holder not to gradually approach people in enjoining good and forbidding evil. They may become harsh with them due to their authority, using severity where gentleness is needed, and believing that their harshness will rectify people, and that only severity, harshness, and cruelty will set them straight. By doing so, they create hypocrites who outwardly show the opposite of what they conceal, or people who await an opportunity to free themselves from the restrictions imposed on them, from their perspective.

Similarly, gentleness should be shown to rulers and authorities, for their rectification leads to the rectification of the nation. Harshness from preachers towards them can bring hardship upon everyone. Therefore, great scholars would be gentle with those in authority when advising them, enjoining good, and forbidding evil.

Muhammad ibn Shihab Az-Zuhri said: I was with Walid ibn Abd al-Malik when he recited the verse: "And he who assumed the major portion [of slander] among them - for him is a great punishment." (An-Nur: 11). He said: This was revealed concerning Ali ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him).

Az-Zuhri said: May Allah rectify the Amir, it is not so. Urwah informed me, from Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). Walid asked: How did he inform you? Az-Zuhri replied: Urwah informed me, from Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), that it was revealed concerning Abdullah ibn Ubayy ibn Salul, the hypocrite (5).

Ibn Shihab Az-Zuhri began his advice by saying: "May Allah rectify the Amir," which was their custom when addressing princes and those in authority, even if they made mistakes or erred, because gentleness always brings good.

Uqaybah ibn Fadalah once entered upon Saeed ibn Dalaj, and before him was a man being beaten. Uqaybah said: "May Allah rectify the Amir! Let me speak to you about something, then you may do as you wish." Saeed ordered the man to be held back and said: "Speak your mind." Uqaybah said: "By Allah, I feared him greatly and was in awe of him. Then I said: 'It has reached me, may Allah rectify the Amir, that on the Day of Judgment, the servants' muscles will tremble in the standing place out of fear of the evil brought by the caller for reckoning, and on that day, the arrogant will be beneath the feet of creation.'" Saeed wept intensely and ordered the man to be released. Uqaybah said: "After that, whenever I entered upon him, he would draw me near and honor me." He also told me one day when I entered: "Woe to you, O Uqaybah! Whenever I remember your words, it makes me weep!" Then he wept (6).

However, this principle can sometimes be deviated from if necessary, but it is not the usual practice. Rather, it is used only as needed, and in specific times and circumstances, as is the case in denouncing those who persist in defiance after prolonged stubbornness and after all gentle methods of da'wah with wisdom and good instruction have been exhausted. Our father Noah (peace be upon him) used this approach, saying to his people: "But I see you as a people who are ignorant." (Hud: 29). Similarly, the father of the prophets, our master Abraham (peace be upon him), used this approach, as Allah says recounting his words: "Uff to you and to what you worship instead of Allah! Then will you not reason?" (Al-Anbiya: 67) (7).

Being someone who enjoins good and forbids evil does not mean being rude, harsh, or looking down upon people. Rather, the one enjoining and the one being enjoined are equal in sin, but Allah has concealed some and revealed the faults of others.

The call for gentleness and leniency does not mean softening matters or abandoning enjoining good and forbidding evil. Instead, it is proclaiming the truth while being gentle with those invited and patient with them.

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(1) مفاتيح الغيب، الرازي (20/ 112).

(2) انظر: التعريفات، الجرجاني ص 124.

(3) مقالة الأمر بالمعروف لا بالغلظة لعبد الله عمر خياط، الجمعة 12 فبراير 2010م، https://www.okaz.com.sa/article/315314 باختصار.

(4) في الأمر بالمعروف والنهي عن المنكر، لمحمد عابد الجابري، http://www.aljabriabed.net/terrorism7.htm

(5) حلية الأولياء، أبو نعيم (3/ 369).

(6) الرقة والبكاء لابن أبي الدنيا، ص 110-111.

(7) انظر: https://www.islamic-konoz.com/post/629/.