Faith Stations on the Path of Upbringing: Families in Danger!

•   It's the family that any household is made of; its heroes are the father and the mother. The parents rise in its sky like the sun and the moon, radiating feelings of warmth, light, radiance, and beauty from their hearts, flowing with mercy, love, and tenderness. They are at the head of the family, like a crowned king over his subjects, defending it with all his might, caring for it, and ensuring its comfort. He spares no expense in providing for its needs and financial support, nor does he withhold beneficial advice and guidance that elevates it in its religion and worldly affairs. For whenever the family is righteous, society is righteous, as it is the fundamental building block for individuals in any society.
• The family also has shining stars, who are the children, boys and girls, adorning its sky and increasing its numbers. They are its growth and development, and through them, the family thrives and is embellished. As for the grandparents, they are strong pillars for families, and powerful roots that stabilize and strengthen them, protecting them from collapse or fall during moments of weakness that sometimes occur. With their advanced age, they are professors in the school of life, generously sharing their knowledge and experiences without expecting anything in return or showing any condescension or harm. The family grows through kinship and expands through relatives, each strengthening its support and reinforcing its might, forming a small society within the larger society that encompasses everyone.

Islam's Concern for the Family

Islam has given great importance and a high status to the family and was keen on its formation on a sound basis. It legislated marriage, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever can afford marriage, let him marry" (narrated by Al-Bukhari). It emphasized its righteousness from the very first moment of its establishment, so he (peace be upon him) said: "If someone whose religious commitment and character you are pleased with comes to you, then marry him" (narrated by Al-Tirmidhi). And he said: "A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty, and for her religion. So choose the one who is religious, and you will prosper." (narrated by Al-Bukhari). Once it is established through marriage, it encourages children and urges procreation, so he (peace be upon him) said: "Marry, for I will outnumber the nations by you" (Saheeh Al-Jami’).

Islam also ensured the cohesion of families and the righteousness of its members, calling on parents to raise their children well. Allah Almighty says: (O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones) (Al-Tahrim: 6). It commanded them to be just among them, so the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Fear Allah and be just among your children, just as you would love them to be dutiful to you" (narrated by Al-Tabarani). Then it commanded children to honor their parents, so Allah Almighty says: (And your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment) (Al-Isra: 23).

It also commanded maintaining ties of kinship, making kindness to them an act of worship, and spending on the needy among them of greater reward. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain his ties of kinship" (narrated by Al-Bukhari). And he said: "Charity given to the poor is a single charity, but charity given to a relative is two: charity and maintaining ties of kinship" (narrated by Al-Tirmidhi).

The family is a great blessing that Allah has bestowed upon His servants, as Allah Almighty says: (And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things) (Al-Nahl: 72). Indeed, Allah Almighty has given good tidings to the believers of reuniting them with their families in Paradise to complete their bliss, as Allah Almighty says: (And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith – We will join them with their descendants, and We will not deprive them of anything of their deeds. Every person is pledged to what he earned) (Al-Tur: 21).

The Family Atmosphere

The family atmosphere has a special taste that its lovers savor, and it holds a strange tranquility that its members feel. Even if some clouds sometimes darken its atmosphere and obscure some light from it, they quickly disperse from its sky for the light to reappear or for beneficial rain to descend upon it. The gentle family atmosphere that surrounds the family cools the heat of life, alleviates its troubles, and stands against the storms it faces when love, mercy, humility, altruism, and cooperation in all good and righteousness prevail. You see its members living together like one body; their joy is shared, no one enjoys it alone, and their sorrow is divided among them, with some rushing to relieve others.

The Family in Danger Today

The family these days is facing threats to its security and existence, putting it in danger. This danger may come from within when Satan strives and works hard to dismantle the bonds of families through bitter marital disputes between spouses, transforming its structure into a pile of hatred, animosity, and quarrels. He may also assist people in severing their ties of kinship, leading a brother to abandon his brother, and a daughter to quarrel with her sister, mother, and father! Satan continues his ugly mission by sowing the seeds of discord among relatives, causing brothers to fight among themselves and cousins to dispute over fleeting possessions and for flimsy reasons. All of this constitutes serious diseases that fatally strike the family!

The family may also be in danger when it is not founded on sound principles from its inception, where a man's concern when choosing his wife is limited to money and beauty, while the girl is deceived by false love and a prestigious job, without either of them considering the other's religiosity, trustworthiness, and good character.

Among the dangers surrounding the family today are:

• Some people are turning away from marriage and the delay in the age of marriage.
• Spouses delay childbearing for a long time or do not wish to have children.
• Spouses being content with only one child, leaving them alone in the desert of life without a brother to support them or a sister to keep them company.
• The husband traveling unnecessarily, leaving his wife and children without a provider.
• Children travel unnecessarily, leaving one or both parents suffering from loneliness and living without family.
• Disobedience from some children towards their parents, leading to their abandonment and lack of care.
• The harshness of parents towards their children, causing children to flee and avoid staying within the family circle.
• The ignorance of spouses regarding the rights and duties of marriage and their shortcomings and negligence in fulfilling them.
• The high number of divorce cases leading to family disintegration and animosity among family members.
• The internet and social media that have stolen time, relationships, and feelings from many.
• Wars against oppressed people lead to the loss of entire families and displacement in search of safety.

Returning to the Family

However, the family these days needs a new revival, a quick return, and an urgent awakening so that it can return to its former strong and solid state. Amidst the changes of the modern world, some families today have been affected, leading to their members losing the family atmosphere essential for their lives. Parents have become preoccupied with earning a living day and night, distracting them from their other family duties. Mothers have also become working women, suffering from fatigue and exhaustion that hinder them from their primary role in the family. Additionally, many children have migrated from their families to distant lands, either for work, study, or the desire for independence and living alone.

As for social media, it has forcibly taken people away from their families. People became preoccupied and fascinated by it, and imaginary individuals through these means replaced family members. One might spend a long time with them, more than with their family, pouring out their longings, dreams, and concerns to them, sharing their secrets and confidences, conversing, discussing, and advising them, and even spending recreational time playing with them, to the extent that this has become a substitute that, as they think, makes them self-sufficient from their family! While they are called means of communication, for families, they have become means of distance and division among them, not communication and gathering! They live together in one house and under one roof as if they are strangers, and this is an undeniable observed phenomenon.

Nevertheless, there is a wonderful group of people who still wear the complete, covering, and beautiful garment of family, giving their family great attention and giving every rightful person their due. They treat their wives with kindness, are good to their children, honor their parents, maintain their ties of kinship, and strive to elevate their family's religious and worldly standards, drawing closer to Allah through this. They raise their hands gratefully, praying: "Our Lord, grant us from our spouses and our offspring comfort for our eyes and make us leaders for the righteous." And whoever is in this state, it is likely that Allah will answer his prayer.