Emotional Depth of Father-Daughter Relationships
I once saw a little girl in the
park, walking with her father. She was holding his hand and lifting her
innocent eyes to him as he spoke to her in a language I couldn't understand, but
I could see on her face the signs of joy and contentment.
So I looked at the man, and I
found that he was smiling at her with the smile of a father, not the smile of a
guardian, nor of a commander, nor of a teacher, but the smile of a loving man.
And I asked myself: I wonder how
many fathers truly know how to be fathers?
Many fathers are good at being
guides, teachers, and engineers of their children's lives, but they are not
good at being fathers.
Fatherhood in Islam: A Responsibility of Love
Fatherhood
is not a job, nor an administrative duty; it is an emotion, a responsibility of
love, a nurturing filled with warmth.
Do not say to girls: “You are a
source of shame,” and do not repeat what some ignorant people say, that a
daughter is a misfortune. Instead, say: Girls are a mercy. Girls are flowers in
the garden of life.
How many daughters have been the
reason for a home’s blessing, a family’s safety, and a soul’s tranquility?
And how many sons have brought disasters upon their fathers, to the point where
the father wished the son had never been born?
Wasn’t Fatimah a daughter? But
she was the most beloved of people to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. Whenever she entered upon him, he would
stand up for her, kiss her forehead, and seat her in his place.
Let fathers learn from their beloved
Prophet ﷺ how to treat daughters, not by burdening
them with responsibility at the age of ten, nor by raising them with fear and
terror, but by raising them with love.
True Meaning of Raising a Daughter
I do not say: “Spoil them,” but
do not neglect them. Do not leave them to devices, or to the conversations of
maids, or to random road companions.
Teach them Hadith, give them
trust, open your hearts to them, and they will become treasures that never run
dry.
I have seen many fathers
complaining about their daughters in adolescence, but if you searched for the
reason, you would find it is he himself:
He did not raise her properly in her childhood so when she grew up, she faced
him with what he had never prepared himself for.
A daughter, dear sirs, is the
mirror of the father. If he sees her troubled, fearful, anxious, let him look
within himself, to see where he went wrong,
when he abandoned his role, and how he lost the compass.
Raising
a daughter is not about buying her a new dress, nor about giving her a
phone and closing your door on her.
Raising her means listening to
her, understanding what lies behind her eyes, and holding her hand through the
darkness of life.
And I wonder, how did we come to
fear everything for our daughters, yet not fear that we might be the first to
break their hearts?
O fathers, daughters are not a
disgrace, nor a burden, they are a trust, and the day will come when you will
be asked about them. Not only in this world, but before the One who never
forgets nor sleeps.
So do not waste this trust.
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Source: “Scenes and
Reflections”, 7th edition, Dar Al-Manarah, p. 235.
Read the Article in Arabic
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