The book "Psychological Fragility" by Dr. Ismail Arfa delves deeply into a phenomenon that has become central in Arab societies: psychological fragility. The book explains how this issue began to manifest clearly since 2010, as daily challenges have turned into a significant burden affecting youth and children, making them more susceptible to emotional breakdowns.

Bullying and Psychological Fragility

Dr. Arfa starts his book by highlighting the widespread use of the term "bullying" in the age of social media. He explains how the term has lost its original meaning, now often used to label minor disagreements. He then elaborates on psychological fragility as the amplification of minor situations, causing individuals to feel helpless and collapse when facing life's challenges.

The Snowflake Generation

In the first chapter, titled The Snowflake Generation, Dr. Arfa likens younger generations to snowflakes, pointing to their sensitivity and tendency to crumble under pressure. He discusses how excessive parental pampering has contributed to raising a generation unable to take responsibility or become self-reliant.

The Obsession with Psychiatry

The second chapter, titled The Obsession with Psychiatry, examines how the concept of trauma has expanded to include any negative experience. The author warns against excessive reliance on psychiatry and medications for problems that could be addressed through natural means. He emphasizes the importance of building strong social connections and engaging in meaningful activities.

Emotional and Existential Emptiness

In the third chapter, Dr. Arfa explores emotional emptiness, showing how weakened family ties and a lack of genuine human interaction amplify psychological fragility. He also discusses how media portrays gender relationships unrealistically, exacerbating the issue.

Social Media: The Root of All Evils

The fourth chapter addresses the role of social media in fostering psychological fragility. Dr. Arfa highlights how the digital world encourages narcissism and distracts attention, warning about the loss of time and increased fragility when failing to meet digital expectations.

Don’t Judge Others!

In the fifth chapter, the author examines the topic of judgment, arguing that avoiding judgment entirely is not true tolerance. Instead, he emphasizes the importance of fair judgment based on ethics and facts.

Your Inner Emotions: The Worst Judge of Your Life

The sixth chapter discusses how modern culture's overemphasis on emotions leads to strained relationships and heightened fragility. The author calls for a balance between emotions and reality.

The Passion Delusion

In the seventh chapter, Dr. Arfa critiques motivational speeches that offer temporary enthusiasm, often leading to psychological shocks when faced with reality. He suggests providing practical plans to help young people understand life's challenges.

The Key to Survival: "I Am Mentally Ill, Therefore I Do as I Please"

The book concludes with the eighth chapter, where the author warns against using mental health conditions as an excuse for poor behavior. He underscores the importance of moderation in applying laws and Islamic principles to determine moral and legal accountability.

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One of the most dangerous and worst afflictions of aimlessly scrolling through social media and watching videos is indulging in it while doing dhikr (remembering Allah). Regardless of the motives that drive someone to combine the remembrance of Allah with entertainment, these two actions should not be combined and must not occur together. The purpose of remembering Allah is to recall His greatness, glorify Him, and seek His help. You should engage in remembrance in a dedicated time— even if it is just a few minutes— where you free yourself from the distractions of life's various concerns. If you entertain yourself during the remembrance, it ceases to be true remembrance and becomes a disguised form of heedlessness. Your state becomes like someone who didn't remember Allah at all! Then you mistakenly think that dhikr does not impact your heart, but in reality, you have not prepared your heart's soil for the righteous seeds to take root!

The worst part is that when you try to arrange a productive lifestyle, balancing all beneficial activities alongside this dangerous habit of mindlessly scrolling through social media and watching videos, you find the equation difficult. You think the reason is the seriousness or weight of the beneficial activities, but the real issue lies in the weight of those seemingly “light” materials. Their apparent lightness deceives you into thinking they do not consume time and energy, enticing you into more and more until they become the primary consumer of your time and energy! For example, what benefit is it to regulate your sleep schedule or reduce your sleeping hours if you spend your waking hours like a sleeper or idler between social media and video clips? What's the point of filling your imagination with goals and achievements if your lifestyle is scattered because it is based on following whims of laziness and distraction?

The direct solution is to adopt the habit of detachment; detach yourself from all distractions when engaging in any activity. When you read your daily portion of the Quran, a book, or do physical exercises, turn off your phone and TV. If necessary, disconnect the electricity and internet! Avoid the temptation of occasional glances, or you will find that an activity allocated for half an hour takes half a day, not because of the activity itself, but due to your own distractions during it!

This same principle should apply to the practice of remembering Allah, and here are some practical steps to help achieve it:

• Align your dhikr time closely with a prayer you perform, whether obligatory or voluntary, before or after it, as long as there is no serious hindrance. For example, the time for morning adhkar is immediately after Fajr prayer or after Duha or Dhuhr prayer at the latest if you cannot continue after Fajr. Evening adhkar should be done after Asr or just before Maghrib at the latest.
• Regardless of your personal sleep schedule, you must arrange your affairs so that you do not neglect your adhkar, whatever time you allocate for them. Set a minimum standard that you adhere to and do not sleep without fulfilling it. It helps to know the classification of the dhikr:
• Tightly restricted dhikr: These cannot be said outside their specific time or context, such as the remembrances of sleeping, waking up, entering and exiting the bathroom, entering and leaving the house, and after prayers, etc.
• Broadly restricted dhikr: These include morning (from after Fajr until Dhuhr) and evening (from after Asr until Maghrib) dhikr. They have their specific times and numbers, but even if you miss their times, do not skip them; make up for them later to maintain discipline and avoid leniency. 
• Open dhikr: These are the supplications and praises you set for yourself in certain numbers daily. These are not bound by time, context, or number, and can be performed whenever suitable, with the amount varying as you see fit. For example, saying “La ilaha illallahul malikul haqqul mubin.” (There is no god but Almighty Allah, the King, the Clear Truth) ten times, a hundred times, or any other number.
• Sit in a comfortable but not rushed posture for remembrance, yet one that is also disciplined enough to prevent you from falling asleep. This could be sitting cross-legged, sitting upright, or even light walking through it.
• Turn off your phone or similar devices if they are nearby, so you are not tempted to look at them for any reason. Alternatively, leave them on silent in another room or far away from your place.
• Completely detach yourself to remember Allah when moving your tongue in dhikr. Count the praises and remembrances on your fingers or a prayer bead, looking at them rather than drifting away mentally or daydreaming. Focus on the meaning of what you say and be mindful of its reward (learn the meanings and virtues of the dhikr you do not know).
• Hear yourself as you say the remembrances, similar to how you recite quietly in prayer, and do not just move your lips without sound. The reward for vocal remembrance and recitation is different from merely looking at the Quran or silent, heart-based repetition.
• Have a set amount of praises, glorifications, and other forms of dhikr besides the prescribed morning and evening adhkar, even if it's ten times each, reaching a hundred or more.
• Set a minimum limit for every dhikr or act of worship that you do not drop regardless of your condition, and an upper or open limit based on your capacity. This way, you combine the best of both worlds: making the most of your energy when it is available, increasing during ease and wellness, and maintaining the habit during difficulty and illness. This aligns with the Prophet's (peace be upon him) practice: “When the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) decided upon doing any act, he continued to do it.” (Narrated by Muslim)
• Every Muslim individual, family, and group should agree to stop any distractions upon hearing the adhan (call to prayer), as much as possible, not just to follow the Sunnah of repeating after the Mu'adhin but also to honor the dhikr of Allah and His call to worship. This demonstrates the belief that “Allah is greater” than all that occupies and concerns you and from whom you hope and fear.

You will be amazed at how short the time is to complete your daily dhikr when you focus on it, and the immense spiritual benefit that comes from proper etiquette in the presence of Allah. You will be even more astonished at the level of heedlessness you were in, thinking you were attentive!

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It is famously narrated among storytellers that a man once went to the Hajj, stood before the crowd, lifted his garment, and urinated in the Zamzam well. The pilgrims beat him and cursed him. When asked why he did such a thing, he replied, “So that people would know me and say: 'This is the man who urinated in Zamzam.'” ⁽¹⁾

There are many like him in our time who are afflicted with the obsession of fame, even through disgraceful acts! This phenomenon needs a deep social study. Here are some words aimed at dissecting this phenomenon, understanding its causes, and contributing to its remedy.

Observing the Phenomenon

Let us imagine together the public reaction to these incidents if they had occurred 20 years ago:

A woman appears on television recounting her challenge of overcoming the psychological impact of a scandalous video leak, claiming she has become more desired afterward!

A father defends his daughter's nudity, questioning whether the law punishes nudity for it to be condemned!

A couple documents and broadcasts their arguments in front of their children and then also documents their reconciliation!

A woman accuses her husband of infidelity, demands a divorce in front of millions, and the husband, of course, responds and accuses her in turn; they then divorce publicly!

A father denigrates his daughter in her forties, humiliates her, and spreads stories of her disobedience, and she retaliates by publicly denigrating him and claiming his abuse!

A couple reveals their private issues to everyone, divorces publicly, and then reconciles, downplaying the heinous claims they made against each other, alleging they have overcame it and are back together again!

A groom fakes his own kidnapping on his wedding day, films it, and releases the video as if it were real!

A young man broadcasts his wedding day, telling his bride that he loves her friend and wants to marry her, proposes to her in front of everyone, and then tells the bride it was just a joke!

A couple broadcasts their entire life to the public, sharing every detail and delighting in the public's reactions, whether positive or negative!

A man or woman performs indecent dances in front of a crowd amid laughter and applause!

Society's Reaction to This Phenomenon

These situations are not fictional; they have actually happened and are too well-known to be hidden from any observer. Tracking such instances would take longer than could be written in a book, let alone an article. The reader can imagine how people would have utterly despised such acts and considered them scandals to be concealed and not told. However, in the era of the “Trend” we now live in, seeking fame even through such disgraceful acts has become less abnormal, even understood—if not accepted—with society at large interacting with it, sympathizing with those believed to be wronged, and unleashing their wrath on those deemed to be the wrongdoers. This happens even without full knowledge of the incident's details, ignoring the self-humiliation and contempt in exchange for fame.

What Nature and Morals Dictate!

A person with a sound nature and good morals cannot stomach such self-humiliation for the sake of fame, let alone society moving in this direction, either by participating or engaging with it. Talking about the values of modesty, chastity, honesty, honor, and virtuous speech is futile unless it resonates with souls prepared to accept these meanings. Hence, there must be an inquiry into why these morals have disappeared from societal presence, allowing their opposites to become public opinion.

The reason is simple: corruption has become so widespread that the voices of reformers have been drowned out by those of the corrupters. Many people now emulate the lifestyles of Westerners, aspiring to their ways and imitating their vices, contradicting the life and religion of Muslims and their customs. The individual feels no shame in going against nature and Islamic morals, seeing it as progress and modernity, chasing it without regard for any worldly or religious consequences.

Islam has guided the direction of life in its purposes and means. The remedy lies in adhering to Islamic guidance and morals in detail and generally, opposing everything that contradicts it, creating a public opinion that despises this frightening moral decline, and using the same virtual and social means to convey this pure and high message. We must care for the younger generation exposed to these scenes, ensuring they do not become so accustomed to them that their nature, religion, and morals do not reject them.

We seek refuge in Allah from a collective punishment if we do not strive to change this state, as the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“If acts of disobedience are done among any people and do not change them though the are able to do so, Allah will soon punish them all.” ⁽²⁾ May Allah protect us and all Muslims.

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1. This story has no basis in historical records, although some attribute it to 'Al-Muntazam' or 'Akhbar al-Hamqa wal-Mughaffalin'—both by Ibn al-Jawzi—but it is often told as a parable.
2. Narrated by Abu Dawood (4338), authenticated by Al-Albani.

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In our contemporary world, changes are accelerating and directions are diverging, to the extent that families face a multitude of challenges they have never encountered before. The parental role model, which has always been the primary fortress in building the children's character and instilling noble values, is now threatened by the digital globalization that has allowed our children to be exposed to multiple worlds and diverse cultures. With all this openness, social media has begun to exert its influence on the hearts and minds of the children, shaping part of their identity, thus surpassing the traditional role of the family. But, has the parental role model lost its influence entirely? Can parents regain their educational role amidst this surge?

The parental role model is not merely about giving advice or imposing instructions; it is about actions practiced and situations embodied in front of the children day by day. A child observes with their eyes and contemplates through their experience what they see from their parents. They learn honesty when they see their actions matching their words, they acquire respect through their refined interactions with others, and they internalize integrity by noticing their diligence in fulfilling their duties with sincerity.

These values instilled at home form the foundation for the children's character development, reflecting their psychological stability and social behavior. Undoubtedly, children who grow up under the umbrella of these values embodied in the parental role model are more capable of facing life’s challenges and more confident in making their decisions. As the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Everyone is born a Muslim, but his parents make him a Jew, a Christian, or a Magian,” emphasizing that parents are the cornerstone in shaping the children's conscience and guiding them towards authentic values.

However, this role is no longer as easy as it was in the past. The last few years have witnessed fundamental changes that have affected the nature of the relationship between parents and their children. Perhaps the most prominent challenge is the digital invasion imposed by social media. These digital platforms, with their ability to present alternative and sometimes distorted role models, have begun to pull the rug from under the parents’ feet. The biggest issue is that these digital role models do not adhere to family values or represent its cultural heritage. Added to this is the pressure of daily life and excessive preoccupation with work, which has made many parents absent from their children's lives, both physically and emotionally.

This absence has not only created a gap but also led to a deep conflict between what children experience within their families and what they see on their phone screens. While social media presents an idealized picture of family life, this picture may seem far from the reality the child lives at home, creating feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction. This conflict drives some to rebel against family values or seek other alternatives that give them a sense of belonging. Ironically, these alternatives may be negative role models that contradict what parents try to instill in their children, leading to behavioral and identity disorders.

The values transmitted from parents to children are the foundation on which society's stability is built. Honesty, integrity, responsibility, and respect are not just slogans to be taught but principles to be embodied in every daily action. When parents demonstrate a commitment to these values in front of their children, they reinforce concepts of uprightness and integrity. Among the most important skills passed on through the parental role model are effective communication, time management, and responsibility. Children who see their parents balancing work and family life and handling problems wisely are more likely to emulate these behaviors in their own lives.

But what happens when the parental role model is absent or diminished? The impact here is not limited to the children alone but extends to undermine the very roots of the family and society as a whole. Children who lack a role model at home are more susceptible to external influences, whether from their peers or the media. This state of value vacuum leads to behavioral deviations or a lack of self-confidence, which negatively affects family stability and, consequently, societal stability. Today, we observe the manifestations of this void in some communities, from increasing family disputes to rising crime rates and weakening moral values.

Nevertheless, reclaiming the role of the parental role model is not impossible. The starting point lies in parents' awareness of their pivotal role in their children’s lives. This awareness requires continuous effort to learn effective parenting methods and to deal with the challenges posed by the digital age. Additionally, dedicating daily time for dialogue with children, listening to their problems and interests away from electronic devices, is essential for rebuilding bridges of trust.

However, dialogue alone is not enough. Parents' actions must serve as the model to be imitated. When parents adhere to the values they wish to instill, such as honesty and integrity, they reinforce these values in their children's conscience.

The parental role model is not a luxury but a necessity that cannot be dispensed with in building a balanced generation capable of facing the challenges of the times. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” This responsibility obliges us to reassess our roles as parents and to elevate our parenting practices to meet the demands of the modern age.

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A twenty-year-old university student might have provoked her classmates by posting photos of some expensive perfumes from a renowned global brand on a youth-oriented social media site, captioning the images as “a simple gift from my dad.” The girl's father, who works in one of the Gulf countries known as a hub for shopping and global brands in the Arab region, has a habit of compensating for his absence with such lavish gifts.

The striking part of the story is not only the bragging about these products on social media but also the girl's description of these expensive items as “simple,” despite studying at a free public university where most of her friends belong to the working class. What drives this display of wealth and the attempt to present oneself as part of the 1% elite who view such brands as mere trifles?

While the previous story may seem somewhat audacious in its attempt to cross class boundaries and aspire to the upper society, the obsession with belonging to the wealthy class through wearing clothes, perfumes, watches, and handbags bearing global brands raises many questions about the psychological motivations behind this behavior. This phenomenon is not confined to young people with little experience in life. When a famous political writer with thousands of followers posts a picture of himself, commenting that his shoes and bag are from such-and-such a global brand, it undoubtedly warrants investigation into this obsession with global brands. Are there underlying psychological issues, or is it a manifestation of capitulation to the capitalist market culture that glorifies consumption and idolizes brands?

Capitalist Happiness

Some people are drawn to buying branded products because they trust the excellent materials used and the small, comfortable details associated with them. They see it as an investment in a high-quality product, even if it is expensive, and many of these individuals make purchases during sales and discounts rather than at the peak of the shopping season.

However, other wealthy young people, whose families are accustomed to buying global brands at any time, have developed a habit and culture of purchasing whatever they desire, regardless of price or need. This category of young people lacks significant life projects; their only concerns revolve around personal enjoyment and flaunting among peers, intertwined with the fever of shopping and consumption.

A large segment of middle-class youth, in all its degrees, shares with the wealthy youth the absence of major life projects, seeking the pleasure of shopping for global brands. However, they lack the necessary funds, so some spend half their salary or more on shopping. Some children exert significant pressure on parents who cannot afford to shop from these brands. Even young people from poor classes, who do not have major issues occupying their minds, seek out counterfeit brands that are much cheaper but closely resemble the original ones and bear the same logos.

One can argue that the pursuit of happiness is a major driving force in this issue. The shopping experience stimulates the release of dopamine in the brain, leading to feelings of happiness. Some even resort to shopping when they feel sad. According to a study published in the Journal of Psychology and Marketing, shopping induces a euphoria similar to that felt by drug addicts! But like drugs, this happiness is temporary and momentary, losing its effectiveness with repetition. Furthermore, the financial pressures experienced by non-wealthy individuals diminish the joy and happiness that shopping brings.

The pursuit of happiness through buying expensive products is a substitute for the absence of grand ideas that occupy young people's minds. Instead of striving for the liberation of the Ummah from subtle occupation to achieve its true place among nations, which global capitalism fears and seeks to obscure through various forms of temptation, young people remain absorbed in temporary pleasures like shopping for brands.

This pursuit is a manufactured goal. Capitalism has the power to create goals, given that humans cannot live without them. So, a goal is created for them to chase and find enjoyment in achieving some of it. Capitalism has long and sharp tentacles that wrap around young people, as the obsession with brands involves celebrities, fashion houses, and marketing companies that use psychological tools. They even study research conducted on drug addicts to use in fostering addiction to shopping and consumption.

Appreciation and Confidence

Another psychological driver behind young people's obsession and addiction to shopping for branded products is the quest for peer appreciation, as demonstrated by the twenty-year-old student mentioned earlier. The clear truth expressed by young people is their desire for distinction, achieved through flaunting or imitation to gain societal recognition and peer appreciation. Consuming branded products is the shortcut for these young people to gain confidence, which derives from the price of what they wear or use. Thus, their value seems to stem from the price of the item, and the individual's worth is tied to the product's price.

This commodification of individuals is both a cause and an effect. It drives young people to chase brands to have a visible presence in this world that judges people by the value of what they own. It's a result of repeated practices of this consumption pattern and the consequent feelings of confidence and satisfaction, reinforcing neural connections in the brain that make this commodification seem like an existential reality.

Recovery and Liberation

If appearance is the primary identifier of a person's identity before they even speak, it is absurd to say that it is unimportant. However, when appearance becomes the foremost goal that a person pursues, it undermines all noble meanings of life. Buying a product for its quality, within one's financial means, and without extravagance is permissible. But being enslaved by brands run by transnational corporations that control the world through the economic gateway is a spiritual ailment that must be addressed. The path to liberation from this enslavement is awareness of our major causes, foremost among them the Palestinian cause.

This liberation provides young people with vast and profound areas of life they had not realized existed before. It grants them confidence in their capabilities and allows them to see themselves beyond the dwarfing perspective that drives them to seek confidence and appreciation through excessive consumption.

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