The experience of motherhood is one of the deepest spiritual, psychological, and physical journeys a woman undergoes. It begins from the moment of pregnancy and continues throughout a mother's life with her children. It is not merely a biological or social responsibility, as some may think, but rather a spiritual journey filled with sacrifices and challenges that strengthen faith in mothers' hearts, encourage self-purification, and foster personal growth and development. In this article, we explore the impact of motherhood on self-purification and deepening faith.

The Responsibility of Motherhood

Islam has greatly honored the role of the mother, emphasizing that she is a source of kindness, mercy, and generosity to those around her. She is also responsible on the Day of Judgment for those whom Allah has entrusted to her care. As stated in the noble hadith, Abdullah ibn Amr reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husbands house and his offspring.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

To fulfill this role, a woman naturally finds herself inclined toward a set of virtues that purify the soul, as will be discussed.

The Innate Nature of Motherhood

Motherhood begins from the magical moment a woman discovers her pregnancy, followed by tracking the development of the fetus inside her womb. During this time, she deeply feels the greatness of the Creator and His ability to bring another life into existence within her fragile body. As her body weakens with the increasing weight of pregnancy, she is naturally drawn to turn to Allah in du’aa. Allah says, “It is He who created you from one soul and created from it its mate that he might dwell in security with her. And when he covers her, she carries a light burden and continues therein. And when it becomes heavy, they both invoke Allah, their Lord, 'If You should give us a good [child], we will surely be among the grateful.'” (Al-A'raf: 189)

Motherhood compels a woman to be grateful to Allah, seeking His pleasure for this priceless blessing. It is also an opportunity to increase good deeds, as she fulfills her duties toward her children, such as providing food, nurturing them, managing the household, and more.

Sincerity to Allah in Raising Children

Pure intentions and sincerity for Allah are the strongest provisions for every mother to continue her journey with her children. When she inevitably feels exhaustion or finds her role unappreciated by those around her, it is enough for her to renew her intention and remember that Allah sees her sacrifices for her children. She should never belittle her efforts, as they are counted in her favor, allowing her to continue the path she has begun without hardship.

Patience and Forbearance

With life's pressures, a mother experiences a mix of emotions—anger, stress, anxiety, and guilt. She struggles to control these emotions, often wondering how she can muster enough patience for all these responsibilities. She constantly finds herself needing to cultivate patience and forbearance to persist in guiding her children, answering their endless questions, and showing gentleness even in moments of frustration. Parenting is a continuous process that requires ongoing effort to monitor children and ensure their safety.

A mother can develop patience and forbearance by striving against her own self, frequently seeking Allah’s forgiveness, and controlling emotional reactions through the guidance of the Quran and Sunnah. As the saying goes, knowledge is acquired through learning, and forbearance is attained through practicing restraint.

Self-Accountability

A mother must realize that her children are a reflection of herself, prompting her to correct her own mistakes and monitor her habits. Actions in parenting speak louder than words. Islam warns against saying what is not put into practice. Allah says, “O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do.” (As-Saff: 2-3)

In raising children, the educator must begin with themselves before their family. Allah says, “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (At-Tahrim: 6)

Thus, a mother must first cultivate in herself what she wishes to instill in her children. She is the first role model in their lives, the primary source of instilling values and religious principles. Her daily behavior, expressions, speech, and interactions with others serve as a live example for her child to follow.

Selflessness

Sacrifice is one of the greatest means of self-purification. A mother places her child's needs above her own. While the reward for selflessness is immense, this trait also enhances a mother's ability to control her desires, making her stronger in restraining her whims in ways that benefit both herself and her family. This elevates her spiritually, giving her life a deeper purpose beyond herself, as she finds fulfillment in serving and nurturing others.

Channeling Emotions

One of the greatest blessings of motherhood is that it reconnects a woman to her innate nature, as Allah has endowed women with a deep emotional sensitivity and a natural bond with their children. This connection begins early, during pregnancy and childbirth, as a mother feels an innate sense of responsibility for the new soul she carries. This bond only grows stronger with every step of the journey, no matter how old the children become. A mother provides love and care in a way that can only be described as instinctive, transcending materialistic interests.

The family is the foundation of the Islamic society, and Islam grants special importance to the mother in raising children and instilling good morals in them. Islam also emphasizes the rights of parents. Allah says, “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents.” (Luqman: 14) The mother’s right is especially emphasized. Abu Huraira reported that a person came to Allah, 's Messenger (ﷺ) and said: Who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand? He said: Your mother. He again said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he said: Then it is your father. (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

This honored status of the mother requires her to engage in continuous self-purification, ensuring that her efforts and sacrifices are worthy of the elevated position she holds.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Read the Article in Arabic

The great Prophet Muhammad ﷺ serves as the ultimate example of emotional intelligence, a quality that was an integral part of his character, chosen by Allah to raise Islam for both humans and jinn. Through his exemplary traits, such as mercy and kindness, gifted by Allah, people entered Islam in droves. Allah describes this in His Book: "So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you." (Aal-E-Imran: 159)

Emotional Intelligence in the Personality of the Prophet ﷺ

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand oneself, manage emotions, deeply comprehend others' feelings, and build balanced and successful relationships. It is a core skill for adapting to circumstances, learning from experiences, and effectively solving problems.

These abilities were evident in every aspect of the Prophet ﷺ's life. He displayed compassion and kindness in his interactions with both followers and opponents, understanding their emotions and needs. He balanced decisiveness in critical moments with gentleness in daily dealings. His actions exemplified this, whether through his tender care for the weak, his wisdom with Quraysh, or his consultative and respectful approach with his companions. This unique emotional management made him a remarkable leader and teacher.

According to Dr. Ayoob Al-Ayoob, emotional intelligence encompasses adaptability to the surrounding environment and utilizing life experiences to address problems effectively. The Prophet ﷺ embodied this clearly, as he read people’s emotions accurately, understood their needs, and guided them wisely toward goodness. This made him an unparalleled role model in managing human relations. Allah affirms this: "There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often." (Al-Ahzab: 21)

Mercy and Kindness as Foundations of Success

One of the most striking examples of the Prophet ﷺ's emotional intelligence is his approach to dealing with enemies. He was never harsh or cruel, even with those who harmed him. When he entered Makkah as a conqueror, despite the injustices inflicted upon him by its people, he said to them with unmatched graciousness: "Go, for you are free." This demonstrates how to control emotions and transform hostility into mercy.

In his relationships with his companions, the Prophet ﷺ set the highest standards, always mindful of their feelings, listening to them patiently, and addressing their emotional needs. He comforted them in their hardships, earning their trust and endearment. He said: "Make things easy and do not make them difficult; make people calm and do not scare them" (Bukhari and Muslim), guiding his companions toward gentleness in interactions.

The Prophet’s emotional intelligence was not merely a personal trait but a part of his Islamic message aimed at building individuals and society. This is reflected in his words: "Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it" (Muslim). This Hadith highlights how the Prophet ﷺ combined spiritual, self, and social intelligence, understanding his emotions and channeling them toward goodness while treating people with exemplary character and inspiring optimism and patience.

Lessons from the Life of the Prophet ﷺ

The Prophet's interactions offer a practical methodology for applying emotional intelligence in daily life, making him a role model for handling situations with wisdom and compassion to build successful and balanced relationships.

• With Children: The Messenger of Allah may Allah bless him and grant him peace, kissed Hasan ibn 'Ali while al-Aqra' ibn Habis at-Tamimi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' observed, 'I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.' The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, looked at him and said, 'Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.' (Bukhari), reflecting the importance of expressing emotions and kindness in dealing with children, fostering their self-confidence and strengthening family bonds.

Another example is narrated by Sahl ibn Sa’d (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: "A drink (milk mixed with water) was brought to the Prophet (ﷺ) who drank some of it while a boy was sitting on his right and old men on his left. The Prophet (ﷺ) said to the boy, "If you permit me, I'll give (the rest of the drink to) these old men first." The boy said, "I will not give preference to any one over me as regards my share from you, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)!" The Prophet (ﷺ) then put that container in the boy's hand" (Bukhari), which shows the Prophet's respect for feelings and rights, regardless of age or status.

• With the Bedouin: When a Bedouin urinated in the mosque, the Prophet ﷺ could have responded harshly, as some companions suggested, but he intervened calmly, ordering the area to be cleaned and gently explaining to the man the sanctity of the mosque. This incident demonstrates the Prophet’s wisdom in addressing mistakes constructively without embarrassing or alienating others.

The Prophet ﷺ remains the greatest example of emotional intelligence. With his compassionate heart and wise mind, he united hearts and spread the message of Islam across the world. Following his example in this aspect is not just a choice but a necessity for building a better individual and societal life.

-------------------------------------------------

Sources:

• “Emotional Intelligence in the Prophetic Conduct”, Islamic Articles, alukah.net
• “Islam Was the First to Advocate for Positive Thinking and Emotional Intelligence”, Mohammed Al-Hammadi, published on ALETIHAD NEWS CENTER